Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to let it go.

I had a similar issue where my parents paid for college, car, wedding and downpayment on a house. [b]In-laws saddled dh with 80k in student loans[/b], including a few parent plus loans we paid for them that didn’t even have his name on it. I paid off all the loans very quickly in full once we married. Despite both sides being retired with >10m, we pay our own way on every vacation and split all dinners.

I would be upset if someone ordered up the dinner bill. I’d ask for my own family’s check and he can pay his own. I’d also just not go on fancy vacations that I don’t want.

I bet a lot of this stems from him not being into education. My in-laws are very against universities. [/quote]

No parents "saddle" their adult child with student loans.  He chose to go to that school and they declined fully funding it.  Both of those choices are legitimate, but he was the one who owed money.[/quote]

If this was in the United States, they absolutely did saddle him with debt.

In the US financial aid is based solely on the parent’s income. Because they were wealthy, they blocked their kid from qualifying for aid and refused to pay for it themselves.

This happened to a friend of mine. She had grants and financial aid that covered all of her tuition and living expenses. Then her mom got married her sophomore year of college and suddenly her expected family contribution was 50K a year and she no longer qualified for aid. Stepdad said it wasn’t his problem. She was stuck with massive student loans because her mom got married.

Parents who actually have money and choose to screw over their kids in college are the scum of the earth. Why even have kids if that’s your plan?

[/quote]

So you go to State University or University of X. That's what fiscally responsible people do. I have friends who turned down big name private schools and went to the state flagship instead, because they couldn't afford it. OPs wife couldn't afford her education but went and did it anyway. That's not admirable, that's stupid.[/quote]

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