Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: I’m mostly wanting to not marry him. Age isn’t the issue for me ( I don’t think I’m too mature for guys my own age, I just like more mature guys) and it’s not about the money—I'm genuinely attracted to the fact that he's emotionally older and I’d still be interested in him even if he didn’t have wealth though.

But, My family is not happy, and my mom isn’t talking to me as much since I told them around Thanksgiving about this. After I recently told my mom & dad about his plans to marry and have a baby with me, they were a little disappointed and think that him being divorced already is a big problem. They wanted me to say no right away, said I was stupid for even considering it, but I don’t see it that way. I’ve dated guys who’ve had even more money than he does, so money isn’t why I’m attracted to him, I just like who he is.

My biggest concern & the main reason I’m leaning towards not marrying him, aside from his health, is that I’m not very enthusiastic about being a stepmom. I’m just not very excited about that role. I don’t have any issue with the having stepkids part but I don’t want my kids to have to share a dad with his adult children and grow up with that, and the dynamic that comes with a blended family makes me feel uneasy.[/quote]
Imagine how his adult kids must feel about the thought of having a half sibling who could be their child.

Go with your gut.   He is too old to be a "new" dad.  Find someone younger if you want kids.

And I say this as someone whose DH is six years older and was almost 41 when we had our first.   He is now 61, and youngest is now about to leave for college.  We will  have the freedom to travel and do what we want, and we're still young enough to enjoy it.    When your kid goes off to college, your DH won't be able to do as much with you, which will lead to the two of you drifting a part.[/quote]

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