Reply to Husband annoyed at taking his injured daughter to urgent care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, not sure where the vasectomy comment came from. They are both our biological children. Also, I have considered divorce but I would not want him to be alone with the kids 50% of the time, so that’s not an option. In the meantime I think therapy and possibly medication are good ideas. I know he had an extremely low opinion of using antidepressants long term (he thinks people are using them to avoid working on their issues), so we’ll see if he agrees to it.

Also, I don’t think he would actually hurt the toddler but he might yell and just generally be scary and then get overwhelmed / upset. Then when I got home I’d have to calm both him down and the toddler down. This is generally the way our parenting dynamic works now and it’s so upsetting.

I had no idea he would be like this with his kids. I married him because he was a kind person who goes out of his way to be there for his friends and family. But he had an angry dad growing up who turned out to be depressed and is doing better now that he’s medicated, and so here we are, family history repeating I guess.[/quote]

You need to have a come to Jesus moment with him. Involve his parents if you think that would help. You cannot tolerate this. He had an angry outburst and didn't want his child to receive emergency care for a head injury. This is where you blow up at him. You say he is a nice guy. He needs to be very ashamed, enough to seek real help. Therapy, medication, whatever it takes. You need to take this super seriously. If he thinks people are using SSRIs to "avoid their issues" then what is his plan to resolve his issues, what is his timeline, what will he do if therapy/anger management don't work. He sounds avoidant and you need to press the issue and not accept "gee, I'll try to do better, sorry" with this incident. And yes, you need to start planning for possible divorce.[/quote]

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