Reply to BIL pissed that we won't be at his wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can easily tell from this thread which posters believed that the sun, moon and stars rotated around their weddings.[/quote]

Exactly, I would not dream that other people would drop everything to come to my wedding. It is not that important - personally I don't give a shit.[/quote]

I wouldn't dream that anyone would drop everything and come to my wedding either, but if I invited someone and they took the time to tell me they weren't coming to my wedding because they had a dinner reservation at a fancy restaurant, I would certainly feel some kind of way about that.

OP's husband should have just said "so sorry we can't make it, take lots of pictures" and kept it moving.  Telling the whole family that none of his family is attending the wedding because she has a birthday party the week before and a fancy dinner reservation the week after is . . . either intentionally rude or simply foolish.[/quote]

It is NOt a "dinner reservation at a fancy restaurant"!  It's "dinner with all of our grown kids in ONe place that we have planned for months to make happen.  Most had to fly to get there and arrange their vacation/work schedule to make it happen" dinner to celebrate mom. [/quote]

OP, how many of the other posts are actually you? I kind of suspected. Take the whole wedding out of the picture--and entire two weekends that simply cannot be changed to celebrate your birthday is the height of self-centeredness and immaturity. Seriously, go volunteer or something.[/quote]

I'm the PP (not the OP).  It doesn't matter if it's bday celebration or not.  It's planned events with friends and family, just like the BIL wedding.  Except OP actually planned in advance (not 4 weeks out) and isn't expecting others to change/cacnel their plans to attend.  When you plan in advance, people get to choose if they want to attend.

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I agree with this.  But I'm a sucker and like to keep the peace.  I'd probably try to leave as soon as possible after party with friends and reschedule dinner with kids.  Your BIL is rude but he is family.  Also, I am one of those people who do not think birthday's are a big deal.  It is fun to have the excuse to celebrate something but to me - I don't care about mind all that much.  if you think birthday's are a big deal than, I totally understand your POV.  I have friends that plan b-day parties for themselves and that is fine too, but weddings are rare. someone is joining your family.  you will have more birthday's most likely.[/quote]

As stated above, I'm not the OP.  But if someone wants to celebrate their Bday, I'm all for it.   The BIL is rude expecting people to adjust their own well planned schedules on such short notice for a trip around the world.  And BIL might just have "more weddings" as this is already his and her 2nd.  If BIL wants people to attend, then he needs to plan well in advance and coordinate with those he really wants to attend.  Not 4 weeks in advance for a trip to Australia.  
I don't care if the OP has a bday party, a bachelorette party or whatever, the point is she has events that were carefully planned, well in advance, they matter to her and HER family and it's not something easily rescheduled.  Sorry, not sorry, but I highly value seeing all of my kids together.  Sounds like OP does as well.  And she worked hard to make this happen, so why does anyone think the BIL 2nd wedding (heck even a 1st wedding) takes precedence? It shouldn't.  RSVP no and send your regrets, that is all they need to do.  If BIL truly cared, he would have planned better

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