Reply to Is dating just a means to an end for 50+ men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a 49 m and I find it very weird that men are put off by women with money. I make about $750,000 without trying too hard (and no alimony). I can take care of a woman financially, but that doesn't mean I want to. I adore my gf, but the one thing that makes me uncomfortable about our relationship is that she's financially insecure. I don't for a second think she's with me for my money, but I just don't like feeling like she's dependent on me.[/quote]

Part of insecurity for the men I dated was my flexible personal schedule. I travel a lot, and it takes commitment and planning to merge two schedules . Men who travel for with and earn a lot of money expected me to be available to them on call, when they are back in town. But I need commitment (eg living together, him being open to marriage), to stop planning my life around my friends and relatives. I can’t put off my winter vacation with my family  for a wealthy boyfriend  who may dump me for another chick before winter. Men expect a lot of time commitment without committing much themselves in return. I would expect my boyfriend to plan vacations together, discuss how we would sync our requirements etc. So far few people are at the same financial position and stage of life to get to that level of commitment .
I assume it’s easier for them to date a financially insecure woman and pay for all vacations themselves, as long as she allows him to control her time. If her office job is not paying much, anyway.  [/quote]

How is your inflexible schedule any different from the average woman who works a full time job and has friends and family on their schedule on top of that.

You are missing something here.

Yo[/quote]

I determine my schedule and it’s only MY decision to be flexible or not for the right man. I can be extremely flexible to take off for a vacation or join him on his business trip when it’s a really strong relationship. 
But I’m also very booked for the next few months with my other travel to family, friends and for pleasure as I’m not tied to an office job. Thus in a short term, women who are always in the city going to office jobs 9-5 would be more available for the men to date in the evenings. To date a woman like me would require more coordination initially and men don’t like not to be in control and not feeling “leading” initially in the relationship. They need a woman who is always available to them initially . That would be a lower paid woman.
While long term I have huge flexibility and advantages to integrate an equal partner in my life, it’s hard to kick off initial dating and maintaining the connection for two busy wealthy people

Does it make sense? [/quote]

I’m a woman. I wouldn’t want to date a man who didn’t seem excited to be with me and had a million other things. Although you put it in terms of control and leading, but it’s more basic. People want to be with people who are excited to see and be with them. You show that by showing up. [/quote]

“Showing up” can be in different ways. I’m not in town 50% of the time. But I’m available over the phone, texts, sexting etc. Nobody would cancel a trip that was planned months ago just to go out on a few dates. Men who make this kind of money also travel a lot, often internationally.  A man can show his presence by being available and maintaining a connection long distance initially. By being an equal partner navigating through our logistics.  
But it’s a challenge to coordinate schedules for both well-off women and men. I dated a person who traveled globally managing a multi-billion business. We met in different cities when we could and texted and there is just no other way to kick off a relationship [/quote]

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