Reply to Punctuality Disagreement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there has been a lot of projecting as to the definition of threat. Spouse A simply could have said, I’m sick of you being late, if you’re not ready I’m leaving without you. Op never mentioned angry, loud, aggressive threats. Just that Spouse A has said on multiple occasions they would just leave and in this case they did.

People are posting as if the OP described some knock down drag out fight then a scene in front of the friends at the restaurant but the OP did nothing of the sort. [/quote]

I don’t think it means that.

Look, if my teenager is failing math, and I threaten to get him a tutor if he doesn’t improve his grades, then finally hire a tutor in frustration when he fails his next exam, that implies a certain kind of interaction.

If my teenager is failing math, and I offer to hire a tutor to help out if he keeps struggling, and then when he fails his next test, I find a tutor for him…that implies a different kind of interaction.

The initial scenario isn’t a knock down drag out screaming fight (although it could be).  But whatever it is, it’s definitely laced with anger and hostility.

Most people wouldn’t do this to their kids.  So why do it to your spouse?  [/quote]

Probably due to understandable frustration when one's spouse is consistently rude and expects one to be rude to one's friends as some sort of weird test of loyalty. I just don't think Spouse A is the villain here, I think they gave Spouse B plenty of warning and then lost their composure but only after a consistent pattern of rudeness.

Spouse B can avoid this whole situation by being on time. Give it a try, you might like it.[/quote]

Wait, so if you tell your teenager that they are failing math because they are consistently lazy and useless, and then you hire them a tutor, you see the hiring a tutor as the point where you lost composure?

Like, you think all of the times that spouse A told spouse B that she is consistently rude, a narcissist, a spoiled princess, and all of the other things that have been said in this thread is fine?  The part where he lost composure is when he drove there himself?    [/quote]

Well, that's not in the original post and I don't know if you're the OP or just some other person making up facts you like better. I wouldn't have said stuff like "spoiled princess" but I don't think it's wrong to say lateness is rude. And I do think being late and expecting a ride anyway is quite a princessy way to behave. Choices have consequences and you need to accept it.

But I would not date a chronically late person, let alone marry one. It's rude and annoying. If you really really need your spouse to tolerate your lateness happily and be late because you are late,  maybe you should have married someone else.[/quote]

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