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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Suppose Spouse A is big on punctuality because they come from a military background and also feel that being on time means respecting other people's time. Spouse A also thinks that punctuality is a good habit to pass on to children. Spouse B is less punctual and feels that being 15-30 minutes late is not that big of a deal. Part of this is attributable to cultural/family background and part of it is a tendency to get distracted.

They have discussed the issue repeatedly and Spouse A frequently threatens to just leave Spouse B and go to events, but has never followed through with it until this weekend. They were supposed to meet another couple for dinner and were already running late. The other couple consists of Spouse A's work colleague and their spouse. They are work friends, but not best friends, and the couples have hung out socially together a few times. Spouse A told Spouse B that if they were not ready in 5 minutes, they could take an Uber to the restaurant. Spouse A actually followed through and left to the restaurant in frustration while Spouse B was still dithering.

Spouse B is furious with Spouse A and feels they were trying to embarrass them. Was Spouse A a too drastic?[/quote]

I would be LIVID if you were 30 minutes late to a dinner with me and my husband without a seriously good excuse. Spouse B is a jerk.[/quote]

Really?  I would be irritated if I was cooking and I prepared things to be ready at a specific time, but it sounds like they were all meeting up at a restaurant.  I would just have a drink with my husband.

It would be so much weirder to be brought into the middle of someone’s marital drama.  [/quote]

Ok, you do you. I think it's incredibly rude to show up 30 minutes late to a dinner reservation. [/quote]

I will!  I like hanging out with people who married someone they like to be with, and who don’t need me around to be a buffer with their spouse.

I can see how if you feel that you can’t spend 15 minutes alone with your spouse, it probably doesn’t really phase you if the other couple is in a fight or not speaking to each other.

For me, the late thing wouldn’t bother me, but I would find a fight incredibly awkward.  
[/quote]

Who is fighting? OP never said there was a fight in front of their friends, you're just making stuff up.

I would never fight with my husband in front of people and we love spending time together just the two of us, but I also wouldn't have married him if he were an inconsiderate jerk who didn't think being on time was important, so we don't have that problem. [/quote]

Well, he threatened to leave, then walked out in anger.  Sounds like a fight to me.   
   
[b]I’m not sure how you can love spending time with just your spouse, but think someone is an inconsiderate jerk that kicks puppies if they leave you alone with your spouse for 15 minutes.  [/b]

I think people are doing a lot of projecting saying that other people are constantly this judgmental.  It’s got to be hard to go through life believing that everyone around you is scrutinizing your behavior like this.

Most people really aren’t this judgmental, and they aren’t spending their date night with their spouse talking about what an inconsiderate jerk the other couple is or how they dressed or spoke inappropriately or whatever.  They really aren’t thinking about you that much.  [/quote]

Again, so weird how you have to tie yourself in knots to try to make your point.

Here is the OP:

Spouse A told Spouse B that if they were not ready in 5 minutes, they could take an Uber to the restaurant. Spouse A actually followed through and left to the restaurant in frustration while Spouse B was still dithering.

Leaving in frustration isn't the same thing as walking out in anger, but ok. Spouse A also didn't "threaten" in this case, by the way - it doesn't say that.

Also, the fact that you can't see that the issue isn't spending extra time with my spouse, but having to wait on you, shows how selfish and inconsiderate you are. [/quote]

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