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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thankfully my DH doesn't bother with the nitty gritty of budget line items but we have two kids, similar income, I'm a SAHM but in a LCOL area. I probably spend similarly. Some men don't care how their wives look (I guess?) but most do, and I believe most men highly, highly underestimate what it takes the average woman to continue to look attractive by late 30s. My DH loves a "natural" look and when I ask him for examples of this in middle aged women (I'm still younger) he always points out women who obviously have at the minimum Botox, expensive haircuts/coloring, and expensive clothing and makeup. He literally has no idea. He thinks the only people who get Botox are the women who look nuts because they've gone way overboard with fillers. 
Bottom line, if you want your wife to look good in her middle age, it's not super cheap. Some women have amazing genetics but most do not. [/quote]

This is something that I hear only stay at home moms go on and on about: their physical appearance as being of paramount importance to the sanctity of their marriage and family life. I think it’s a point of anxiety about the nature of their relationships. I honestly think that the breadwinner/SAHM dynamic is really hard on couples. I mean this with compassion. Women end up with a limited number of ways to demonstrate their value as an adult in the family and end up obsessing about their physical appearance in a way that isn’t warranted or grounded in reality.  Go back to work and you won’t have the time or inclination to obsess about these things. Natural aging isn’t why healthy marriages break up. [/quote]

I think some women fool themselves into thinking their DH won't care about their appearance if they are making $. Most men aren't attracted to "natural aging."[/quote]

Divorce is really low amongst professional families. It just is. Everyone ages, gains disabilities, gets sick, and eventually dies. I’m not sure why there is so much fear mongering around this topic. Most men don’t leave and/or have affairs because their wives age. It just doesn’t happen. A lot of people both men and women gain maturity as they age and appreciate their families and partners and understand that blowing up their families for an affair/new marriage with a younger partner is a very bad idea as well as delusional. There are men and women who make poor choices but they are ultimately a small group. [/quote]

Yes I know many middle aged couples who likely won't divorce but are not super happy together and clearly have lost attraction. Most people I know do not aspire to that. [/quote]

This might be true but this is not always or even usually because a woman decided not to get Botox. There are a lot of reasons that couples might lose connection. Women aren’t uniquely responsible for maintaining the  relationship, and Botox doesn’t provide a guarantee in any way that everything will work out. Healthy marriages do not rise or fall because of cosmetic procedures and expensive hair cuts. It might give some women a sense of control, but it isn’t grounded in reality. [/quote]

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