Reply to Anyone following this Candice Miller/Mama & Tata nightmare?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t know. Their lifestyle is incomprehensible to us. But if — as I’ve read on a midnight-nursing deep-dive— they were childhood friends who lived nearby in the Hamptons and nyc, sharing an ultra rich social bubble,  and their relationship started with bizarre luxury shoe gifts and other crazy materialist gestures, it may all have been…almost normal to them.  Like, if you live in a neighborhood where it’s normal to get $300 bimonthly hair color (which is a ridiculous extravagance in its own context) instead of $800 weekly facials, would it be hard for you to switch to coloring at home while all your friends frequented the salon? Privilege is highly contextual. I can see it in my own lifestyle creep.

If it weren’t for the instagram account I would  feel sorry for her. While I could see how somebody could get stuck in a social bubble, the instagram showed that she also saw through that bubble, and saw the ordinary folk gawking. So she didn’t live in a vacuum. She knew there were other ways of living.

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An adult doesn't have to take part in anything they're not willing nor able to. It's almost as if you're insinuating they were victims of peer pressure and, from my vantage point, i don't think it's the case. Additionally, your use of the word [/b][i] Ultra-rich[/i] is a tad too liberal for me. They certainly would've led comfortable lives had they chosen to live within their means but,  by Hamptons standards, they were certainly not ultra-rich, hence the debt-fueled lifestyle that culminated in this tragedy.[/quote]

Well yeah, having $0 means you are not ultra rich. But they are OF the ultra rich — that’s the world they grew up in. What seems like sick and excessive spending to us little folk is less so to them. A lot of silver spoon types don’t understand money.

Another human tendency that I can identify and even relate to: a few years ago when my primary earner husband got very sick and I should have put the breaks on all discretionary spending, I started spending more than usual. Why? It was almost like plowing ahead and willing the life I wanted into some sort of physical form would make it come to pass. Shopping can feel like a kind of control.
And of course if you are in a super depressing situation the seratonin jolt of shopping is great on a chemical level…until the guilt sets it. So maybe she did see what was going on and this was a bad coping mechanism.

I agree that the wife sounds not great. But I don’t think she is a monster who murdered her husband. [/quote]

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