Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems that some who had messed up family lives are not convinced by OP’s “I’m fine” stance. People in such families get very used to their emotional needs not being met and it becomes normal to them.

And his insistence that he couldn’t possibly benefit from any way about talking about his parents and his emotions with a trained professional also seems suspect.

But, whatever, it’s his life.[/quote]

I'm the 500 word essay poster. You know I think many things can be true depending on where you are

1) If you have had a lot of trauma, talking through it can be helpful if you are open to it

2) If you have a lot of trauma and difficult family members, you can make choices that from the outside make it look like you haven't processed your issues but in fact the boundaries you set that seem strange to others are in fact you acknowledging that your situation is different than the norm and you can protect yourself and your loved ones without feeling bad about it and that is actually a sign of health even though to others it can seem like a sign of sickness

3) Over dwelling on trauma can prevent you from choosing happiness in spite of your childhood (this should not be confused with repressing and never dealing with your issues)

4) Even if you believe you're in a good place and have processed and live a happy life healthily acknowledging trauma but not letting it define you (with or without therapy), events in your life or your children's life could trigger outsized reactions based on that trauma and anyone who has experienced serious issues in their childhood should be open to this possibility so they can recognize it if it happens

IMO victims of trauma and people who enforce boundaries with their family are told to question their interpretation of reality a lot. Believing in your own experience of reality and making choices based on it and not having that sense of reality waver in the face of questioning is actually a hard place to get to. Sure OP could be repressing things, or he could be right, but he's allowed to believe in his own mind. He should talk to the only person who actually matters other than him here, which is his wife, who either is projecting or seeing something in him that concerns her. He should get to the bottom of that, but none of us here in DCUM-land know his mind. [/quote]

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