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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why would you need to see him “alone”?

Funny how you say “we” never see him alone. So you and DH are a package deal, and that’s fine, but son needs to visit “alone”?

How very interesting.[/quote]

OP and DH are married and have biological offspring(s). The son and his gf are not married and do not have biological offspring(s) together.   OP and her DH can ask to spend time along with their unmarried adult DS on a family vacation.  For all practical purposes, the gf is just a chick their DS is banging.

There is a difference.  [/quote]

Totally disagree. It's fine to have a family vacation where it's just strictly parent and children when your children are young and all still live in their childhood home. But once the kids turn into adults and start coupling off and becoming serious with their SO especially if they live together the time to exclude a serious SO is out the window. I'm not saying you can't ever see your adult child alone for a meal or dinner out to eat but for vacations yes they should always be welcomed. Most adults aren't gonna wanna use vacation time or vacation with their mom dad and siblings while their SO is excluded.

Again this is 2023 so many many couples decide to wait a while to get married for many practical and good reasons it doesn't mean they aren't serious or they should be excluded. You go by how the couple presents themselves and if they are presenting themselves like they live as married by sharing their daily life together, owning/renting a place together then by all intents and purposes they operate as a unit and that's for no one else to make the determination that they aren't serious or they should be separated. Most 25 year olds aren't gonna wanna just have their live in SO excluded to live out their parent's dream of how things used to be and ignoring the fact they are in a committed relationship.

The parents had years and years of parent/children vacation but that ship sails once they become adults with serious SOs of their own. The kids grow up and the family unit shifts and the dynamic changes. And most likely their child now considers their partner their "nuclear" family.

Also again by asking your child to vacation and EXCLUDE their SO you are essentially asking your child to take away some of their vacation time that could be used towards your child and their partner. Most partners are gonna wanna save up their time to travel together. Most young adults starting off in their career aren't gonna get a lot of vacation time.

I wouldn't be happy if when I owned a home with my then serious bf (now husband) his mom called him up and asked him to come on vacation with just her his dad and siblings and told him explicitly I wasn't invited and if my bf said ok went along with it essentially not only leaving me out but causing us to have a lot less vacation time for us as a couple. We own a home we share a daily life together we are a unit for these things.

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