Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Frankly, your comments don't imply happiness. They imply a rigidness and close mindedness that makes it impossible for you to be able to empathize with another human being."

Just reading over this again and I'm pretty offended by this statement. I think my comments and my inability to understand this kind of selfishness come directly from being a child of divorced parents after my father cheated and from having a husband who cheated too. So I have first-hand experience with how these "gray areas" and "don't judge me - I wasn't planning to cheat" and all these other excuses actually end up. I have myself experienced being a child and a spouse devastated and changed for life as a result of other people's selfish choices. So obviously my comments are colored by these experiences and I would implore everyone to think about how your choices will play out and how you can get your needs met in ways that aren't devastating to others who depend on you. [/quote]

New poster. I agree with you. I don't think there is anything "rigid" about being anti-affair.

I have made my share of mistakes and learned from some of them. Still have more to make, but what I have learned is that instant gratification and selfishness is not really the path to any kind of real fulfillment. Life is hard, and doing the right thing is hard. But in the long run usually worth it. You get out of things what you put into it. I have a lot of regrets and moving forward I hope to keep that one in my mind every day.

It's hard for most people to understand and accept that there are many times you have to go above and beyond your spouse. You have to be better than them. They will fail you, and you them, and you will fall out of love at times. But if you can take the high road more times than not you won't regret it. The divorce rate would be lower if people got this. And I'm saying this as someone who may get divorced. I may have learned these lessons too late.[/quote]

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