Reply to “First come, first serve” household?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I am definitely fascinated by the perspectives here.

Holiday PP yes that’s a great example, this would be a time where I may ask for someone to set aside my plate. Whereas another PP noted it should be a free for all for those in attendance when the meal is served. I’ve never been to a formal dinner party actually but Thanksgiving, Christmas dinner, Mothers Day brunch etc… [/quote]

Ok, it’s annoying that you’re always asking people to “set aside a plate” for you. [/quote]

Holiday pp here. We did it once, because we noticed MIL was happy to do so, several times, for perpetually and very late SIL. MIL took issue with doing it once for our small kids (not us, we were happy to stop at McDonalds, and we did. It was Christmas.) so, we never asked again.

DH mentioned that every night was a free for all at his house, because in spite of there being enough money, there was never enough food, and they were expected to eat chips or cereal to supplement.

OTOH, my family had less money growing up, but always had more than enough fresh, healthy food- mostly because of our gardens. It struck me as odd behaviors about food, when I met DHs family. DH agreed, once he met my family. [/quote]

Are you really that shocked that your MIL ranks her own daughter above you? This plate saving business is so weird. Get to the dinner on time if it’s so important.[/quote]

Wow. Okay, bitter MIL. You would refuse to feed your small grandchildren on a major holiday? And “rank” your kids/grandkids - like it is a military rank and file? Like a pack of dogs in the wild?

So gross! So telling! So primitive.

No way would that nonsense ever happen with food, in my parents or our house. We weren’t raised rich, but we were raised better.

Maybe get over your narcissistic, selfish, self centered, codependent, unhealthy, self.  For shame. [/quote]

Bitter MIL? Are you high? I'm not my MILs daughter and I don't expect her to be treated like that. Get to the dinner on time. What is the reason you can't do that? So weird. But your personality is really starting to shine through it's revealing.[/quote]

You are correct. My personality is revealing that you are wrong and grossly selfish, and you don’t like it. Too bad.

If my DIL is late once to a holiday dinner, you better believe that not only are her kids having food saved for them by me, but also plates for their (gasp!) entire family.

Quel horreur!

[/quote]

You are totally weird. Why do several plates need to be lined up "saved"? Is there going to be a shortage of food at Thanksgiving or something? Why not just serve yourself from the leftovers when you get there? You're describing something very odd and not normal at a holiday dinner that special plates are set aside as if there won't be an abundance of food. If food is so short and scarce, what are you bringing to the dinner you can't be bothered to show up for on time?[/quote]

My question is for the daughter who was late multiple times with her family. Why did one set of grandkids, who were late multiple times, get food set aside “several plates need to be lined up saved” (sic - as if PP was there, and actually knew what was saved for the daughter’s family. Huh.) and one set, the ones who were late one time, not given food? Since there was obviously not enough food.

That seems like a really, really cruel thing to do to little kids. Bet they asked about that on the way home from the visit.

That is the weird part. That, and PP being so very strangely being invested in this conversation.

Maybe some MILs enjoy drama, and teach exactly what not to do, thankfully. [/quote]

Without the details how do we know? But WTF kind of Thanksgiving is this where nobody comes on time and there's not enough food? MIL likely at least knows her daughter well enough to know what kind of food she will eat. I don't need or want my MIL to make me a plate.[/quote]

If the daughter can do no wrong, it sets that daughter up for failure. It is not about the food, at all. Take some Psych classes. [/quote]

What is the relevant to this thread then? If she has MIL issues she should take it to another forum.[/quote]

Because this thread has to do with familial food customs. Have you caught on yet? [/quote]

Then your custom of not having a meal together and setting aside multiple plates to get cold is weird AF. Normal people help themselves when they get there.[/quote].

You seem extremely over reactive.

If there is not enough food to begin with, there are no “multiple plates”.

Why do you keep going on about multiple plates? For little kids?

[/quote]

Because holiday PP wants plates for the whole family set aside. Or do you think they share 1 plate? This family situation is weird. Sorry you don’t agree.[/quote]

I think you are the only one to ever claim that. [/quote]

Claim what? That its weird to need to make separate plates because the food will run out if you aren't there at dinner time? Make more food cheapos. Holiday PP is mad plates weren't set aside. Why do you need to do that in the first place if there is plenty to go around?[/quote]

Because there isn’t enough to go around. No on is asking for plates, if there isn’t enough to go around. [/quote]

Right. And that's weird at a holiday dinner. But there are solutions. Host, be on time, eat before, bring food to supplement.[/quote]

This was already addressed. You are going in circles, likely deliberately. [/quote]

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