Reply to AITA: Getting crap for not attending a Friday wedding because we have no childcare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I CANNOT believe that people are criticizing SIL for running a marathon. Geez, what’s wrong with you all? It is not self-indulgent of a mom of small kids to train for and run a marathon. It’s downright impressive.  And she probably had this on the calendar way before this absurd 3pm on a Friday or wedding.

I understand that BIL might be disappointed that he easy childcare plans aren’t working out the way he hoped, but the cousin (who planned this mid-week wedding in an out of the way location), the BIL and the MIL should work to arrange a sitter for BIL’s kids (*if* he still wants to come).

And no one should be criticizing OP for not wanting to go and not wanting to be a weekend nanny for four kids under 5. 
 [/quote]

Nothing impressive about a marathon at that stage of life.  It is similar to buying a corvette during a mid-life crisis.[/quote]

New poster here. There is something wrong with you. [/quote]

I will remind you she has a 1yo and 3yo at home.  Why do a marathon now?  Why is that such a priority?  This is the most confusing part of the story here for me.[/quote]

There are many women who want to get into exercise after childbirth to try and get back into shape and to lose the weight that childbirth adds to many women's bodies.

Also, a woman who leaves the workforce to become a SAHM often needs something to do for themselves as a break from childcare.  Exercise serves that role for many young mothers.  So, they get their breaks from children and go out running.  Then once it works well for them, they want to keep running and push themselves to achieve more.  A marathon s a pipe dream for many people of any age and it becomes a goal to achieve.  Why try for the marathon now?  Because in 4-5 years when her children will be entering the school-age years, she may want to go back to work and so this 5 year window between birth and school-age is the optimal window for many women to do something like this.  Once her children enter school and she returns to work and she gets tied up with chaufferring her children around to various activities and such, it may be harder to find the time to train as much as is needed and to have the time to go to the events.

It's not unusual for mothers to find time while they are SAH to do something like this for themselves.[/quote]

It’s outrageous that it’s 2023 and this has to be explained to this throwback from 1950. [/quote]

I think the confusion is actually around SAH mom culture from people used to dual working families.  So probably the opposite of what you said.[/quote]

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