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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "My good friend’s husband is cheating do I tell her??"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to think that I’d like to be told if I were ever in your friend’s situation, but now I am not sure. Kida are young, I am a SAHM so I’m financially dependent on DH… Honestly, I’d rather not know. But if no kids or adult kids, then yea, I’d like to know. [/quote] If you find out because you end up with an STI, well, that's one hell of a way to get the news. Don't think it can't happen to you, PP. You'd rather not know that your life - not just your DH's life, yours, every day, all day long -- is a lie? I'd rather know ASAP and have all the information I needed to make decisions [i]for myself, about my own future[/i] and that of my kids (even if that decision is to stay with cheater DH after he ends the affair(s) and does the work of being an actual stand-up man). Cheaters, through their secrets, deprive their betrayed spouses of the ability to have full agency over their own lives. If you think "ignorance is bliss," well, keep thinking you'd rather not know about cheating. If you want to be an adult who has the dignity of choosing your own path in life, painful though it may be, rather than having it secretly chosen FOR you and foisted onto you, then you'd want to know. [/quote] +1 million. Or he knocks the OW up, etc.[/quote] I'm PP from above and should have added -- a good friend found out about her DH's longstanding affair when the OW ended up pregnant and the DH decided to leave suddenly to be with the AP and baby. So yeah, it's a b**ch to find out only because the cheater DH got the side piece knocked up. Or the betrayed wife has a mystery STI. Or the wife stumbles over something in the DH's texts/emails/DMs etc. Or perhaps worst of all, the kids stumble over it. Especially if the kids are old enough to figure out what it [i]means[/i] Better to hear it from a friend, another adult (probably another woman) who will tell you in a way that lets you process it better than you can if it comes out in a medical test or "She's pregnant" or "Mom, what does this mean?" moment. [/quote]
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