Reply to Please don’t let your children eat common allergens while playing on public playground equipment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP reminds me of a parent whose child had a peanut allergy in my child's kindergarten class. She insisted on every kid constantly washing hands, she would check lunches, wipe down tables, and constantly talk about how allergic her child was. She would quiz kids and families every morning about what they ate for breakfast. I was sympathetic as a parent of a child with a peanut/tree nut allergy until I found out that over spring break the family flew to Orlando and they went to a bunch of amusement parks. I saw pictures of the child on various rides and activities. If you are that allergic no way can you safely go to Disneyworld and ride most of the rides, hug characters, etc.

OP look into an allergist who will do Oral Immunotherapy or look into a clinical trial. My 14 year old just completed an OIT clinical study and can now eat peanuts and treenuts.

It isn't realistic that you expect everyone else to change what they are doing and eating for your child. [/quote]

We had a mom like this in my daughter's kindergarten too.  She was super obnoxious about it and it was literally her entire personality (she wore "food allergy mom" t-shirts.  I'm not even kidding).  Her son apparently had a very severe peanut allergy and so we were asked to not allow our kids to even have peanuts or peanut butter or Nutella for breakfast on school days which we accommodated, of course, because we are not complete jerks.

Fast forward a few years and my daughter didn't have the same teacher as this kid for several years and now in 4th grade the kid is allergic to almost everything...he has that eosinophilic esophagus thing (I am sure I spelled that wrong) and mom insists on all treats at birthdays and whatnot being compliant (vs. keeping the severe allergens out of the classroom and sending a compliant "treat" for her own kid, he's apparently not SUPER allergic to these other things, he just can't consume them).  And she's still on the offensive constantly...  I think the kid just wants to be normal and have his mom shut up and manage his own diet at this point but it's just become so much of a THING for her.

Frankly my experience with her has had the opposite effect that she probably intended...I find this all very irritating and I'm not as sympathetic as I probably should be.  I just get so worn down by her constantly forcing others to change their behavior for her kid instead of doing what's absolutely necessary to protect him and letting people otherwise bring normal food to school that won't actually hurt him unless he EATS it (which by 4th grade is on HIM).[/quote]

My kid grew out of FPIES (thankfully) but EOE is a related disease as well as Mast Cell issues. She is doing everyone with kids who experience food allergies a BIG disservice. My kid knows what he cannot eat (since there are other allergies besides his now outgrown FPIES) and if there is a treat, we provide it. During taste tests in pre-K, he would be left out and we got videos of these taste tests. It sucks but we talked it over and he knows that he cant eat it- its for his safety. 
I cant replace everything with a safe food (trust me I have tried) and its not on other kids to modulate their experiences- they dont have any problems with those foods. My kid will have to grow up in a world where all those foods are around him and he cant go vocalizing to every person he meets in a workplace or school or social setting that they have to change what THEY eat based on his limitations. 
And being overbearing like that DOES irritate most people and they become less compliant because instead of focusing on 2 or 3 things they want everything minimized. And it does change compliance with requests. 
[/quote]

I feel like part of the problem is so many people with sensitivities or preferences make such a federal case out of their sensitivity or preference and it waters down the importance of helping others to avoid TRUE severe allergies.  Massive difference between "gluten makes me bloated" or "I don't eat meat because I love animals" or "if I eat too much cheese I'm gassy" and "if I eat a peanut I will literally die".[/quote]

There is something to this, and I think it's exacerbated by the fact that in certain parent communities (including mine) there are a lot of strong feelings about things like preservatives and dyes in food, organic foods, consuming "whole" foods, etc. And I subscribe to a lot of it. But some people tend to roll it all together with both sensitivities (lactose or gluten intolerance) and allergies. And they are actually all different.

One reason parents get frustrated with the food restrictions at school, for instance, is that there are about 100 different ways that parents try to police what they feed their kids. I have had other parents give me a hard time for serving too many berries at a party (too much sugar, apparently) or for sending fig bars to school as a snack (gluten free, nut free, kosher, no preservatives, only 8 ingredients -- seemed like an easy win!). When you regularly experience this much judgment and and control around food for your kids, having someone yell at you that how dare you bring your kid almonds to eat at the playground is exhausting.

If the only time someone ever gave me a hard time about kid-related food issues was regarding serious allergies, my life would be so much easier. Sadly, I deal with kid-related food issues about 14x a day and still somehow apparently do not do it to the satisfaction of other parents. It makes me a little bit prickly about the subject.[/quote]

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