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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, I struggle with my feelings about parents who don't want to spend most of their time with their children when they are infants and toddlers.  Not parents who CAN'T, parents who don't want to.  I get that some little ones are quite difficult and you might need help with them, but I believe all babies and toddlers deserve to spend most of their time with someone who loves and cherishes them, a parent.

So I struggle with how I feel about that since the trend I see is for more and more parents to devalue this aspect of parenthood and having children.[/quote]

Op - but there is ‘want to’ and ‘want to’
Eg - I ‘wanted to’ stay home with my kids when they were young. I felt so bad that I couldn’t - and a failure. Then I tried when they were like 4 and 2 and I was so so depressed. I felt like I lost my whole identity. I felt like I was actually a worse mother than when I had a true reason for doing something other than taking care of their every need all day. I wanted to be the person that wanted to be that person. I’m always caught between one and the other - I think a lot of women feel conflicted in this way [/quote]

I agree that this is an issue for some parents and I sympathize.  I feel badly for parents who can't tolerate being the primary caregiver for their children and I feel badly for the children too.  I don't know the answer to that for them, I guess it's you just do the best you can with what you have to work with.  However, my feeling is that this is pretty important and so parents and potential parents ought to be encouraged to really think it through and perhaps try hard, not to just assume (or convince themselves) that very young children are just as well off in daycare as they would be with a parent as primary caregiver.  I know many parents disagree with my take on this but I still struggle with my feelings about it a lot.[/quote]

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