Reply to Almost former ILs still want their "party"

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Almost former ILs still want their "party""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband and in-laws will always be your children's family. A divorce will not change that. You are stuck with these people, a little bit, for life.

I'd take the high road and let them know that you told husband that he gets the kids for christmas and that you don't know what his plans are--they need to talk to him.

I agree with others that they have poor boundaries, but, have some compassion. It may work well in the future for you to maintain a good relationship with them.[/quote]

Yes, this. You will be seeing these people many times in the future. There will be school performances, sporting events, birthday parties, engagements, weddings, etc. Once you have children, you don’t get a divorce where you never see your ex anymore. You have to coparent with them. Instead of focusing on your irritation, how about having some empathy for the ILs who clearly want to spend time with their grandchildren. Or how you can maintain as cordial enough as possible a relationship with them now so that for the next 20-30 years your children don’t fee anxiety and stress anytime their divorced parents families are going to their performance/play/graduation/game/birthday. If you create bad blood now by being under the illusion that you get to cut these people out, the people who suffer are your kids. They will be the kids who, at graduation, have to split their time after the ceremony racing between two families who won’t interact, having to make hard decisions about which family to go have the celebratory meal with following (and feeling sad and guilty the whole time) etc. Divorce sucks for kids, try not to make it worse because you foolishly think you get a clean break. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics