Reply to What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She only _thought_ I was a dud. I was a winner all along, and she was and continues to be a loser.

My income is up 40 percent, and I've slept with a couple of dozen women who are 10-30 years younger than me since the divorce.

I've made two major mistakes in life: getting married, and having children. [/quote]

She was right and you just admitted it. Anyone who regrets their children IS a dud as a father and parenting partner. I doubt your ex is impressed by your sex life now, but I hope she’s keeping an eye on your bank account and taking what her kids are owed.[/quote]

I am a woman and I agree with the previous poster… The biggest mistakes in my life were getting married and having children. I love my kids and I’m a great mom but these were still two of the biggest mistakes of my life. It’s simply not worth it and has derailed to the things that I really wanted to do. I am so sick of this society glorifying motherhood and parenthood. A lot of it sucks and it’s not worth the “reward” everyone espouses. [/quote]

That's your problem, just like it's the PP's problem. Don't have kids expecting a magic rewards. Have kids if you want kids. And if you have kids and view it as the biggest mistake of your life, you are a dud parent, no matter your gender. I wish both of you had figured out this out earlier, before bringing kids into the world, who will now have to live with your mistakes. Selfish.[/quote]

The way parenting works, you only know if you love AFTER you become a parent. It's okay to not fully enjoy the experience.[/quote]

I see this sentiment somewhat often on here and I'm always confused. No parent "fully enjoys the experience." There are challenges and draw backs, and some have a lot more than others. But I actually think it's pretty easy to know if you really WANT to be a parent before you become one. I had a lot of trepidation about it but in a way that's how I knew I wanted to do it. I didn't idealize it and I still wanted to do it.

I think people who have kids and then say things like "biggest mistake of my life" have something else going on that is really wrong. I don't think you have to have a parent to be fulfilled, but I think if you have kids and can't find a way to at least appreciate the positive aspects of it, your problem is mostly you, not your kids.[/quote]

Here’s what I see: UNREALISTIC and NAIVE expectations of what being married with raising kids entails.

Lots of guys “want” to have kids.  They have some Mickey Mouse naive version of how easy it will be to have a baby, or toddler or adolescent or teen. Or if they’re really dumb they only think about having a baby at baby stage. So they say Yes yes, I love kids (even tho I don’t actually know what that means to parent), I always saw myself having 2-3 kids, etc.

Then the actual kid comes and he just swings by occasionally and hopes you provide some directions, or he stays at work more avoid 99% of life’s demands. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics