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[quote=Anonymous]OP I suggested earlier it would have to be on BIL.  I know you posted that some people were coming down hard on him.  That's not why I posted that.  It's because your SIL will only change if she wants it.  No one else telling her is going to make a difference.  I get that your BIL works and is tired but if it's important to him then he needs to make this change.  SIL can continue eating her own stuff and perhaps she can try little bits of other dishes to see if she likes them.

When people are use to eating junk food they won't eat healthy to start with, they won't enjoy it or stick with it if the change is too big.  I suggest giving him ideas for healthier stuff which may not seem totally healthy but will be tasty.  Perhaps even just a few days a week to start with.

Eg:  The taco kits which you only need to cook some beef with an onion.  The extra bits on top are easy.

Buy a ready made lasagne and some salad.  All SIL needs to do is throw it in the oven.

Rotisserie chicken with salad or potatoes, even oven fries.  The salad doesn't need to be green to start with, even potato salad.  It's all about making the change and then once that's ok make the next change ie add green salad, vegetables.

This stuff is really easy to prepare.  Your BIL can do that.  Your BIL can make it about himself so SIL doesn't feel shamed.  Small baby steps.  She can even keep cooking her own food but your BIL can make a few different dishes for himself and the kids.  Then see where it goes.

Otherwise I would suggest he go to counselling for professional advice on how to manage the other deeper issues.  Triangulation in family relationships is not always helpful as it sometimes puts all the blame on one person rather than each individual seeing what part or role they play.[/quote]

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