Reply to Those in your 40s and 50s, if you had kids later in life, do you regret it?

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Reply to "Those in your 40s and 50s, if you had kids later in life, do you regret it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here we go with this same tired old topic again.

Look, the bottom line is simple:  it's better to have kids young.  Biology prefers it for a reason.

Of course older mothers are going to disagree, because they have to validate their choices or circumstances.  All of this baloney about the benefits of having kids older -- being financially secure, having fun in your youth, etc. -- benefit the [i]parents[/i], not the kids.  If, for example, you're a struggling grad student, having a kid doesn't hurt the kid because your future earnings potential is presumably high.

That's what we did.  We got married in our early 20s, got our kids out of the way while going to grad school, and had all four before we were 30.  Now our kids are full grown, and the parents of their kids' friends are closer to our age than theirs.  And our kids didn't suffer economically, academically, or socially because we didn't wait until the timing was "perfect" by DCUM's definition.  To the contrary, they thrived.  [/quote]

All these mamas lucky enough to find someone to marry in their 20s. Do you REALLY think most of us WANTED to meet our husbands so late and have kids so late? Would you rather we not have kids at all? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM BIZNOTCH?[/quote]

See, I applaud your honesty.  The issue I have is with the older mothers who insist that it's the better course of action when it usually isn't.  [/quote]

DP, but there are many benefits to having kids when you're older than younger, mostly because adults are more stable (emotionally, financially, etc.).  That's hard to get around.  I know there are some benefits to having kids younger, but that's mostly around the ease of conceiving and remaining pregnant.  That has little to do with the actual work of parenting.[/quote]

I feel like posts like this are setting up false dilemmas where you're comparing teenagers with women who are 40+.  Almost everywhere on the planet, a woman of, say, 25 is considered a fully formed adult, with her education complete, her health at the peak, and her emotional maturation complete, and certainly up to the challenges of parenting.  It's not like adulthood begins at 40.  [/quote]

It’s crazy the way some people infantilize adults in their mid to late 20s and totally discount the fact that becoming a parent — and parenting — can cause you to mature faster than [b]endless brunches[/b] and trips. I think a lot of this is just people justifying their own choices and not knowing what it would have been like had they had kids younger (which is fair). [/quote]

FIRST MENTION OF BRUNCHES!! could Brunch Granny be behind this thread? Signs point to yes![/quote]

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