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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where is gender equality here? If I was the breadwinner husband and if my wife decided not to work anymore,  I think I would lose some respect for her. Will most of those marriages end when one of the sides hit a mid life crisis? [/quote]

By our third date, my husband was telling me he only wanted to marry a woman who would continue to work after marriage and kids. I appreciate his forthrightness and as I never had any interest in SAH, we ended up getting married and being dual WOHP.  My guess is that most people discuss this extensively with prospective spouses.[/quote]

I didn't want to be a SAHM but I wouldn't marry that guy. [/quote]

Your choice, of course. I've been married to "that guy" for 25 years.[/quote]

I have been married to another “that guy” for 20+ years too. My DH explained that he wanted to build a life with a partner who would work since he didn’t like seeing his Dad stress about a job loss and his mom go out to scrape together work to pay the bills.  I am sure if it were a real issue (I felt really strongly after childbirth for some reason, I couldn’t find a job in the same city, we had elder care or SN child issues that we hadn’t accounted for), we’d have had a conversation and figured things out.  But having a man explain to you that his vision for his life matched your vision for your life is a good thing, you know?[/quote]

What if he just got offered a really great promotion, and he wanted to work 80 hours a week and make tons of money?  Or he realized that he hated his job and wanted to switch to something that was less family friendly?  The only way that either of you are allowed to make a change in your life from the time you are dating until you die is having elder care issues or a special needs child?  No one can just want to do something different?  
[/quote]

Woman here with heavy work hours but also earning 50% more than the DH. When I took my new role, I promised that my home commitments would not suffer. Why can't a guy do the same thing? We have been operating 50-50 well in the last 5 years. Besides both of us spending time with the kids, my DH has hobbies and I have just extra work that I need to spend time on. [/quote]

Same. Women do this all the time, you just don't see it because they aren't advertising it.[/quote]

Just out of curiosity, what does your day to day look like?  I would like to go back to work full time, but my husband works long hours, and I can’t really figure out how to make it work.  
He typically works 7am-6pm with two days off every other week.  Sometimes they fall on a weekend, but not always.  
Kids are elementary school and middle school ages.  Oldest has some minor special needs and homeschools.  
Right now I work 20-30 hours/week, but I don’t see how I could take a time intensive job or even a serious hobby.   I would like to start coaching high school again, but I don’t see how I can make it work.  [/quote]

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