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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where is gender equality here? If I was the breadwinner husband and if my wife decided not to work anymore,  I think I would lose some respect for her. Will most of those marriages end when one of the sides hit a mid life crisis? [/quote]

By our third date, my husband was telling me he only wanted to marry a woman who would continue to work after marriage and kids. I appreciate his forthrightness and as I never had any interest in SAH, we ended up getting married and being dual WOHP.  My guess is that most people discuss this extensively with prospective spouses.[/quote]

I didn't want to be a SAHM but I wouldn't marry that guy. [/quote]

Your choice, of course. I've been married to "that guy" for 25 years.[/quote]

I have been married to another “that guy” for 20+ years too. My DH explained that he wanted to build a life with a partner who would work since he didn’t like seeing his Dad stress about a job loss and his mom go out to scrape together work to pay the bills.  I am sure if it were a real issue (I felt really strongly after childbirth for some reason, I couldn’t find a job in the same city, we had elder care or SN child issues that we hadn’t accounted for), we’d have had a conversation and figured things out.  But having a man explain to you that his vision for his life matched your vision for your life is a good thing, you know?[/quote]

What if he just got offered a really great promotion, and he wanted to work 80 hours a week and make tons of money?  Or he realized that he hated his job and wanted to switch to something that was less family friendly?  The only way that either of you are allowed to make a change in your life from the time you are dating until you die is having elder care issues or a special needs child?  No one can just want to do something different?  
[/quote]

Of course people can want to do something different, especially if their partner is flexible and hasn't based their WOH/SAH decision on their partner's stated desires. I have several friends whose husbands burned out, and those friends are back to work PT or working their way to FT WOH to accommodate their husbands' desire to work less and less intensively. We got married in our 30s so less chance of us changing our minds then people who get married younger.[/quote]

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