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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One big reason not to get married that early is often mental illness doesn't show up until mid-20s.

This happened to both one of my best friends and my H. Both got married at 19, had a child at 20, and then mental illness showed up in their spouses around 23/24. My best friend's now-xH developed bipolar disorder, got fired from multiple jobs for sexual harassment, had affairs, physically and emotionally abused her and their kids, then was arrested, convicted, and put in jail for being violent in public. H's story isn't that bad, but mental illness developed and their child greatly suffered as a result.

Good idea to wait until at least mid-20s to get married, or at least wait that long before having kids so you know exactly what genes they'll be getting. [/quote]

You’ll be surprised to see number of divorce cases where mental health is mentioned as the cause and most of them were married way after 20’s.[/quote]

True, but often that's things like anxiety, depression, etc. There may be marital problems, but they can still function as adults and parents, and it's not to the point of trying to kill someone.

But the really serious ones - schizophrenia, bipolar, personality disorders, addictions, psychosis - often don't show up until 20s. And those diseases have HUGE impacts on the spouse and children, try explaining to your kids that daddy is in jail for a long, long time because he has a psychotic break and tried to kill people (exactly what happened to my friend). Plus the financial impact of now having no breadwinner and unable to get a job that pays enough to cover daycare.[/quote]

How much people really know about each other’s medical problems if they are marrying internet matches or bar finds after dating for 6 months or a year of dating?[/quote]

It isn’t just medical problems. At 22 and barely out of college, assuming these two are from UMC/MC families, they have likely had zero real responsibility.  Showing up to class, graduating, maybe working a part time job.  Mom and dad have likely been funding their life until very very recently.  At least by mid 20s you have a better idea of things like earning potential, ability to save/budget, multi tasking adult responsibilities, balancing work and home life.  22 is hard to say what kind of an adult someone will grow into.  [/quote]

Young adults from emotionally stable and financially stable families often do well with marriages as they face less hurdles (no debt, some inheritance, no family responsibilities, good connections for career growth and social influence) and have good role models. [/quote]

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