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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think any of this has to do with this stupid slumber party. 
I think the SIL is a bit jealous of the time OPs kids are getting with the grandparents and she is wanting the same for her kids. 
She likely does NOT like OP and her DH living with the inlaws (for whatever reason, thinking they will get the house, better bonding, manipulating them somehow, who knows) and She is trying desperately to hang on to control in any way she can. In this case it is with this dumb sleepover. OP doesn't want it so SIL really does. 
Just let her have it but leave and take your family with you. 
Grandparents, DH and SIL need to have a heart to heart about boundaries and you, DH and grandparents need to establish some expectations with you living there. Start paying rent and get a fair say or find somewhere new. [/quote]

We do pay rent, I said that earlier in the thread.  We also contribute a lot to the household in other ways, including doing things that my in laws would otherwise have to pay for.

If I leave, then my in laws won't have any grandchildren here for Christmas, because she's said she won't come if my kids aren't here.  So, "letting her have it" just hurts the grandparents who own the house and have been good to us.  Plus, they were pretty clear last night that they like the original plan.

I do think that you are right that she has some weird jealousy.  Her kids see their grandparents a couple times a week.  Grandparents go up there to babysit.  The older kids come here for the day.  The whole family comes to spend the weekend afternoon or we meet at a third siblings.  When DH has been very sick, visits sometimes have happened elsewhere, but they always happen.  [/quote]

Why would they be jealous?
Nobody wants to live with in laws. They are not jealous.
Your DH has poor health..again not jealous.

Maybe you are jealous they live like independent adults.
If you are there to help in laws, why do you pay rent? [/quote]

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