Reply to What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread reminded me that my husband asked me to sign him up to be a mystery reader today. But he got called into a meeting and now can’t do it and I didn’t remember because it’s on his calendar, not mine, and now I’m scrambling to get this taken care of because our kid will be super disappointed if his parent is the only one who forgets to show up on his week.

[/quote]
Perfect example! He was going to *do* it, but you had to schedule it and now schedule his replacement.[/quote]

This would be a perfect opportunity for a kid to learn about adult life and that things happen, and sometimes go not as planned. The kid will learn not to sweat over that s..t that most women on this thread are talking about. [/quote]

Actually, it would have been a perfect opportunity for dad to learn about adult life and how to sign up for these things on his own. If H wants to sign up for things, respond “great. You can do so by logging into our school account”.

“I don’t know the school account website or login”

“They were emailed at the beginning of the year, perhaps it’s in your inbox”

“It’s not”

“Okay, contact the school and they’ll get you set up”.

Dad will be a whole lot more likely to remember these things if he sets them up and faces the consequences. [/quote]

THIS. It's not about using dad's ineptitude to teach the kids a lesson. It will teach them the wrong lessons. Like that moms follow through but dads don't. Or that moms know how to do things like sign up for class stuff or reschedule if need be, but that dads need help to do those things.

I don't know if this PP is the single dad or not, but what you are not getting is that dynamics are different when there is more than one parent, and they are different when one parent is in charge of most of the kid/household stuff and the other isn't. You can say "oh well you shouldn't prioritize this optional stuff and then you won't be stressed." But you get to make that decision unilaterally as a single parent. In plenty of the marriages, dad thinks a lot of this stuff you are deeming optional is important (i.e. check the dad in this instance who feels school involvement is very important and wanted to participate) but also just drop the ball constantly and leave a lot of the logistics ("mental load") to mom. This is so common. You're situation is an outlier.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics