Reply to What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread reminded me that my husband asked me to sign him up to be a mystery reader today. But he got called into a meeting and now can’t do it and I didn’t remember because it’s on his calendar, not mine, and now I’m scrambling to get this taken care of because our kid will be super disappointed if his parent is the only one who forgets to show up on his week.

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Perfect example! He was going to *do* it, but you had to schedule it and now schedule his replacement.[/quote]

This would be a perfect opportunity for a kid to learn about adult life and that things happen, and sometimes go not as planned. The kid will learn not to sweat over that s..t that most women on this thread are talking about. [/quote]

I’m assuming this kid is what, 7 or 8, tops? You think it’s good to let a 7-year-old learn that he can’t depend on his parents?[/quote]

Depend in what way? To change his diaper? No. He is highly capable of doing it himself. Depend on me providing him with love, roof, food, and safety? Absolutely yes! Showing up in school -- it is totally optional. [/quote]

So you think honoring your commitments to your children (and modeling the importance of following through with things you sign up for) is totally optional? Of course emergencies come up on rare occasions that children should learn to adapt to, but dad should have blocked off his work calendar or at the least taken responsibility for helping schedule someone else to go in on his behalf. I think some of the parents on here referring to others as “martyrs” really only want to do the bare basics. Some of us have higher standards than just missing legally required basic needs like housing and providing food.[/quote]

And that is great! But the bottom line is it is totally optional. As I mentioned in my previous post, my attitude helped me to raise self-sufficient children who were accepted to the top schools in the US. If you can handle all those extras without stressing yourself -- great, do it! But if all that causing stress, you are not doing a favor to your child and it is better to stick to basics. Yes, I was a mom who did not attend book reading, never was in PTA. Because I have and always had my life and my hobbies and never placed my kids or extended family on a pedestal. [/quote]

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