Reply to How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This would be a no brainer to me. The girl can get the tattoo and your daughter go with her to get it. However, your daughter may get a matching one when she is of legal age. I am not sure why she has to do it at 15. It would still match at age 18...[/quote]

How sad- “you can go with your friend and tell her you’ll be allowed to get your own at 18, the only reason she is getting it earlier is because she will be dead by 18. You can tell her that since you aren’t dying , you’ll get yours later”. Can you imagine this conversation playing out? [/quote]

No, none of these people who are so strident in that they would forget this are able to imagine the actual conversation with their child. They fall back on "I'm the parent, and my responsibility is to parent my child" and that's the end of it on this board. Everyone more or less knows it's nowhere near that simple or easy, but it doesn't matter because tattoos are trashy and 15yo are too immature to make permanent decisions, apparently.[/quote]

I think the cruelest part is making their child have that conversation with their dying friend. “My mom says no permanent change on my body because I might regret it when I’m older. But you aren’t getting older so that’s why it’s ok for you.” No matter how delicate your child is when she speaks, this is the message you are making her pass on to her best friend as she lays dying. Real nice. You’re traumatizing your own kid and saddening someone else’s dying kid. But, TATTOOS!!![/quote]

So this is the emotional manipulation that posters referred to earlier.[/quote]

Pointing out the pain you will certainly cause by a given course of action isn't emotional manipulation, unless you think you should completely ignore the emotional effect saying no will have on the friend and the daughter.[/quote]

As the parent, I can be the bad guy, and even call the other parent if needed. The harm to this family is that this child is dying not that someone’s parent is unwilling to a permit.[/quote]

“Being the bad guy” is setting limits on underage drinking. Not further crushing the spirit of a dying teenager, and probably damaging your relationship with your own child, because you are so rigid that you can’t see that life is full of beautiful nuance. I am against tattoos, but I could never say no to this. This is a beautiful thing. Life is messy. Wake up. Your child will remember you refusing this. [/quote]

NP - you sound awfully rigid, yourself.  [/quote]

Pointing out someone’s rigid thinking does not make one rigid. Try again. [/quote]

No, it doesn't.  Having an all or nothing attitude about a nuanced situation is what makes you seem rigid.  "..I could never say no..."  "Wake up."  "crushing the spirit..."  You leave no room to have a rational conversation.[/quote]

What’s your “rational” concern, lady? That your DD won’t land that wealthy husband you dream about if she has a tattoo?[/quote]

Different poster: I don’t want my kid making any permanent alterations to her body as a minor. Period. Plenty of people with tattoos have posted in this thread saying they would not allow it. [/quote]

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