Reply to Friends being cagey about plans. How would you react?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the OP and just heard back:

This is one of tbe more refreshing texts I have received in my adult life. I apologize that you were hurt and now can see why you were. A friend planned the party for me, I gave her a guest list, and because we only see each other mainly in a larger group I didn't even think to invite you--and it only now when you texted occurred to me that everyone else in our grouo was invited. Stupid me. Please know this was not personal, just a function of us needing to hang out more. Would you like to grab coffee next week?

I feel RELIEF that I was direct.

And I am not in Dc area any longer so feel posiitve she is not on dcum[/quote]

I’m so embarrassed for you. She is being utterly graceful, and acting like this is “refreshing,” but it’s not. You were beyond immature and rude; who she invited to her birthday—whether it was thrown by her or not—is NONE of your business. You can bet she and the other friends in the group are now discussing how to “navigate” you going forward. Ugh.[/quote]

Yeah, that’s kind of my read on it, too.[/quote]

+2. I won't be surprised if OP is slowly phased out of this group.[/quote]

Not OP but this cynical take on things is very sad. I previously thought OP shouldn’t reach out to the friend but she did in a very respectful manner and got a similar response. My take is this will bring the friendship closer. As adults, if we want fruitful, healthy relationships with those around us, we need to be comfortable expressing our fears/concerns/vulnerabilities when we’re hurt in order to move things forward.[/quote]

This is a naive take. Women just don’t function this way especially people who have no qualms about excluding group members and then pretend to not realize it. The future of this friendship is toast.[/quote]

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