Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No one ever likes this advice but here it is.  The difference in male and female drive, in my experience, is that when I am tired, or stressed I can’t get turned on. My husband has No Problem getting turned on if he’s tired or stressed. But since he’s not a garbage human, he doesn’t want to have sex with someone who isn’t into it.  If we’re on vacation and I have no responsibilities, am well rested and relaxed, it’s easy to do 2x day.  At home juggling schedule, work, house, etc it’s hard to get 2x month.

So since we’re in this together and not “demanding” that our spouse “owes” us, we see my getting more rest and relaxation as an investment for both of us in a better sex life. If the house is clean and I slept late while my husband took the baby to her swim lessons and gave her breakfast HECK YES there will be sex at nap time. If it’s such a big deal people want to divorce over it, stepping up to help your partner seems less work and hassle.[/quote]

If that extra work your husband has to do is just evening out the work load, then sure. If you are using sex to sleep in while he does extra work, then, well, I feel sorry for your husband.[/quote]

Let’s break this down. Say before a couple was doing exactly 50/50.  DW and DH are both tired and stressed come the weekend. DH wants sex, DW can’t get turned on while tired. So DH does more work, call it 55/45, so DW can rest and they can *both* have enjoyable sex.  You would consider that this DH is a victim? What’s your solution? DH has sex with a DW who is too tired and stressed to enjoy it? They just don’t have sex at all? Both of those options sound gross to me.[/quote]

I don't know what the solution is. It is not my problem. But it is a lame as hell thing for the wife to do. I guess though if you marry someone who is too lazy and anxious to be able to handle normal life responsibilities and maintain a sex drive, it is the guy's fault. [/quote]

You need to start your own thread about things you WON’T do for sex[/quote]

This supports the hypothesis that these men are terrible in bed. I cannot think of a less attractive sentiment than “I want to have sex but I won’t do anything to help make sure you enjoy it” [/quote]

Huh? I said it is not my problem, as in, my wife is really into sex and we have a great sex life. I don't think my wife "owes" me anything. (But maybe that's how the PP looks at relationships.) I just think it is lame that the PP here thinks it is reasonable to have her husband do more than his fair share in exchange for a (what I can only imagine is equally lame) sex life. Just glad it is not my problem.[/quote]

I’m that PP.  Happily, my husband doesn’t think my physical needs are “lame” and thinks meeting them is part of a healthy sex life. [/quote]

Who is saying your physical needs are lame? What is lame is needing a vacation from life just to be in the mood. [/quote]

A vacation from life? What are you talking about? I need enough sleep and to be in an orderly environment in order to feel turned on.  Otherwise my mind wanders to my to-do list and I can’t get off. Sorry you think that’s a “vacation from life” but luckily for me my husband doesn’t want to have sex with someone who isn’t going to enjoy it.[/quote]

But now you're changing the argument. You were going on about your "physical needs" being met, and now you're talking about your to-do list. But needing the husband to clean the house and let the wife sleep late on the weekends just to be in the mood seems lame. I feel bad for the guy, but I guess he made his choice. Just glad I didn't marry someone who gets beaten down so easily by basic life stuff.[/quote]

The physical needs are for sleep and order.  Those are needs that must be met in order to be physically satisfied, so they are physical needs.

So far you have described me, a woman you have never met, as being anxious, lazy, “beaten down” are there any other names you’d like to call? No matter how long your list grows my husband still gets to have enthusiastic sex a few times a week...[/quote]

Glad he's happy buying your enthusiasm by tidying up while you sleep in. Sounds like quite an arrangement![/quote]

If you think that’s bad you’ll love this — I sleep in almost every day and my husband has sex every day if he wants! Quite an arrangement, but we’re happy.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics