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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don’t you feel comfortable asking him to help?  I think that’s a really odd sign. You sound more like a live-in mistress.    Your daughter is treated like Cinderella.  You allow and condone it.  The biggest damage is you betraying her.  You need to mend that damage first.  Choose her over your husband.  Show her that she means more to you than your ‘embarrassment’ or losing his good opinion or him altogether.  It’s not too late.  [/quote]

this! OP has this very subservient attitude toward her husband and his kids and is now angry her own daughter is not doing the same? i mean, i am first to argue that spending 300k on a vassar is a colossal waste of money, but this is not really the core issue here. it seems like OP wanted to marry for money, found a guy and kept her daughter of the picture in order not to jeopardize her marriage prospects. "DD was already 13" - so what, there was still plenty of time for her to become part of the family, but it seems OP didn't want to risk it. it seems that "keeping finances separate" was condition of the marriage, at least in OP's head.

OP traded her own (and hers alone) financial stability for her relationship with her own daughter. it's a shitty thing to do and yes, you are a bad parent because of it.[/quote]

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