Reply to Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little. 
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing. [/quote]

Most of the mom's here will not let the dad's be active and involved parents so its a non-issue.[/quote]

+1. Those dads who "sail in" when the kids are older was probably shut out when kids were too small to initiate/maintain contact on their own. Of course the kids are ecstatic. Mom may have intentionally kept dad at arms length throughout childhood because, "She's the mom and she knows her kids best." and wanted to do all the "hard work" because it was her way or no way. Plus it made good fodder for those mothers with martyrdom syndrome. They could elicit sympathy that they were doing it all alone.

The whole "equal footing" comment proves many see this as a contest for who is the best parent and who deserves the child's affection more.

A child's love for a parent shouldn't be in an equation with bean counting.

[/quote]
a lot of dads consider bare minimum, ie, kids are not dead, they have "food " (ie junk food); they are entertained (kids sit in front of an electronic all day) as "good parenting".

Lucky for some dads that kids will love their parents regardless, even the absentee ones.[/quote]

So do a lot of mom's.  Stop pretending its only Dad's as bad parents.  Most Dad's parent their kids.[/quote]

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