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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Why do people with demanding jobs choose to have 3+ kids?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I used to have a very demanding job and was on the road for over half of the time. I was concerned about having kids with a demanding career, so I crowdsourced feedback on another forum from adults who had parents who had jobs that often kept them from their children. I received comments from around 40 people and nearly all of them said it was the quality of time (being present, not distracted with work calls etc) and not the quality of time that mattered. Some people had a parent who was home all of the time but not a good parent and their relationship today is non existent. Thankfully now my career is more manageable but still can be busy at times so I always on quality over quantity of time. [/quote] Quantity without quality is bad, but quality without quantity is also bad. I agree with a PP who said you’re not going to be able to emotionally connect with your kids during Sunday brunch. You have to do some of the physical grunt work too. The morning and evening routines, thinking about their needs and knowing the little details in their lives. Case in point: SIL and BIL worked crazy hours until their kids were in ES. Only then did they realize their kids had autism (one severe) and so they’ve cut back a lot to spend more time with them. But it’s a little too late unfortunately.[/quote] Really nasty of you to accuse them of this. That aside, I grew up with very hard working parents. Both my parents had very big careers and spent little (but lots of quality) time with us. My dad was his own boss and took longer vacations... so we had him for that... my mom had very little time off. I never EVER felt neglected. Compared with my friends (many with stay at home moms) I have the closest relationship with my mom. I speak/FaceTime with her 3-4 times a day, she spent the first 5-6 weeks with each of my 3 kids with me and always helped me a lot. My parents gave me more in terms of experiences, values, love and money than any of the friends I grew up with. We are very very close... We had several baby sitters and my mom had several cleaning ladies. It was a great experiences growing up that way... I knew that they were working so hard for US so that we could travel to Africa, US, other European countries, etc. I went to very expensive schools and my parents never said no to any experience or anything related to education (they said no to cellphones, cars, clothes plenty of time)... they always made me understand the value of money and I did nit grow up spoiled... they were amazing parents and they spent little time with us, but plenty of quality time... Imagine that nowadays we vacation together every summer (for weeks/months) and my kids think of my mom as their second mom... I hope I will be half the parent my parents were and my kids will be lucky![/quote] You were neglected as you had a fancy private school and babysitters/house keepers/staff to care for you. You clearly valued material things/school/travel over time. To say you hope to be half the parents your parents were is easy, just pay people.[/quote] Oh wow! I was most definitely NOT neglected! My mom (and in many ways my dad) knew me so well! Yes, they were not around all the time and they gave me a lot of freedom growing up. They knew they could trust me and they knew exactly how much I could handle. We spent weeks just the 4 of us on a sail boat or in a car/ tents while crossing the Sahara desert. We did amazing things... quality things... but yes, my mom rarely cooked for us (and she was/is nit good at it), she rarely took us to swim/fencing classes, she did not monitor how much tv I was watching or how much time I spent doing homework, but she was absolutely present. I never had issues... always did well in school, etc. my brother had a harder time in school and my mom found the best tutor to help him (he is now a very well respected surgeon. We always talked a lot and she knew ME. I had the best care (cleaning me, feeding me, taking me to activities) with amazing nannies/aupairs from all over the world (who taught me a lot). I had the best childhood full of love and adventures and so many people who loved me (including my parents) I had a friend growing up whose mom chose to stay at home. By the time he was 15, he was making fun of her and calling her “stupid” because all she did was cleaning her house and buying produce... she did a very crappy job being “present” in his life and nowadays the mom has almost zero contact with her kids... what a waste of a life if you ask me...[/quote] If you ask me, it sounds like your mom failed in life big time bc she raised a pos like you.[/quote] Wow... I bet your mom would be proud of you bullying and insulting someone on an anonymous forum. Sorry you feel so threatened by other people’s experience to have to respond this way... I feel bad for your kids (if you have any)[/quote] We’re not talking about me idiot, but sure, continue to feel defensive and retort in pathetic cliches when you’re called out for your ugly remarks. Again, it’s clear that your parents have failed in raising a well adjusted human.[/quote] Your name calling is really classy. [/quote] DP- :roll: no point in acting all high and mighty when the initial comment was so arrogant and judgmental..”waste of a life,” really? [/quote] Look, if you feel that you wasted your life, do something about it and stop insulting strangers on DCUM. Very classy and mature[/quote] Look who’s a pathetic hypocrite. Posting over and over again to strangers that they’ve wasted their life but whining that they’re not being classy and insulting you is exactly what a waste of space who hasn’t been raised right would do. You have no respect for others, your family or yourself. [/quote] It’s obvious from PP’s earlier posts that she has a huge chip on her shoulder and was neglected as a child..it’s sad really.[/quote]
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