Reply to How to keep the other woman away from my child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother cheated and married the other woman. My former SIL has cut off all relationships with anyone who agrees to meet with, speak to etc my brother’s wife. I really miss my former SIL but my brother’s wife comes to Tgiving, Xmas etc. and I can’t just not see her. I can’t begin to fathom the pain my brother caused her but she goes out of her way to prevent him and his wife from spending any extra time with their child. She hires babysitters for work trips, puts him in aftercare etc even when my brother would like to have the child with him. She has taken out a restraining order against my brother’s wife preventing her from going on the property - so child handoffs are on the street if my brother can’t do them. I’m angry at my brother and SIl’s behavior and how they went about things, but I keep thinking how much nicer it would be for the child (who now has younger siblings) to have MORE people showing him love and support, not fewer. People aren’t all good or all bad - my SIl made a moral decision I wouldn’t make or emulate, but she loves her stepchild deeply. Also, Op, it’s another family member but no one can (or should) replace mom. [/quote]

You have no real idea what went on in your brother’s marriage.  Your former SIL may be drawing firm boundaries because your brother is unreliable or abusive in his relationship with her and the kids.

And, news flash -[b] a woman who cheats with a married man does not love his children nor does she have the key ingredient to being a good stepmom[/b] - being able to put the kids’ needs above her own.  Real adult love doesn’t do that.

[/quote]

I understand that you're hurt, but you have nothing besides your own assertion to back this up. There's no reason to think that the stepmom doesn't actually love his kids or wouldn't be a good stepmother. What happened with the marriage is a separate question -- and the heroes of this thread are the women who haven't let their own agony cause pain for their children. And interfering with the stepmother relationship does just that.

It's not about you. I'm so sorry for what happened to you, but it is not about you.[/quote]

I bet McCain’s second wife was a great stepmom to his kids and they even took up positions in her company.[/quote]

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