Reply to Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently ended a 4-year affair.  I never loved her.  I compartmentalized.  She’s nothing like my wife.  My wife is beautiful, intelligent, confident, has a successful career and a wonderful family.  This woman was broken like me.  She is actually everything I don’t like.  I actually “picked” somebody I knew I could never fall in love with.  She told me she loved me and I strung her along because it was easy sex. I used her.  She does not work. She is a liar and a cheater (yes- I know I am too).  She is not that intelligent, but full of her self.

I ended it and never looked back.  The woman wanted to leave her husband for me.  I always told her I would never leave my wife.  It was easy sex I used to fill a void I had inside myself which had nothing to do with my wife or our sex life.  I was having regular, good sex with my wife.  This was due to Mental issues I had and an unhealthy need for constant validation and thrill/risk.  I started therapy while it was going on and knew it was wrong.  It was like an alcoholic that uses booze, but hates himself and hates the booze.  I ended up truly hating this woman. She was extremely manipulative and started stalking me.  There are addiction issues in my family which I suffer with and I need to address facts about myself I never have before.

I am so angry at myself.  I hate myself.  My life was perfect.  My wife and kids are perfect.  I f@cked everything up.  I see how awful I was.  I am doing everything to try and fix this and I’m so scared my wife will never get over it.  I don’t blame her.

[/quote]

You're one of the few men on here who have done some self-reflection and see that cheating was because of something within you.  I hope you make yourself better and thereby making your relationship with your wife/kids better in the process.  [/quote]

NP here.  No, he's one of the few men on here who fits your narrative.  I think he sounds like a pathetic drama queen.[/quote]

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