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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband leaves room to talk to MIL"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] My husband left Friday night. Saturday my friends all had plans. Sunday afternoon I went to brunch with some of my girls. I have invited my SIL and MIL to brunch or girls days before and they either say no or they go a couple weeks later and never invite me. I don't expect to be invited obviously every time they go out as mother and daughter but it would be nice to be invited sometime as a DIL/SIL. I just feel like when I'm never invited it's like they don't see me as a member of the family AT ALL and its hurtful.[/quote] Your MIL and SIL do not consider you good company. Why is that? [quote=Anonymous]I'm not saying I never play a role but c'mon you can't seriously claim this is normal behavior to act towards someone married into the family to insist to your son he can't bring his wife to a family dinner 2x a month. You guys talk about me putting him in between him and his mom well by his mom telling my husband not to invite me she is putting herself in between her son and his wife. Your parents and siblings become your extended family and your spouse and any children you have are now your main family.[/quote] No. Your parents always remain your core family. Clearly your husband agrees! [quote=Anonymous]To me once you're married you stick by your spouse and they come first they are your main family now. I would never dream (hypothetically speaking) if I had a grown son to put him in a position of choosing between me and his wife and I would never dream of telling him he can't bring her and i wohld expect him to choose his wife every time. Once married they are your main family along with any children you choose to have. [/quote] It doesn't matter what it is to you, it matters how it is to your husband. It doesn't sound like he considers you his main family. It also doesn't seem like his family became his "extended" family. [quote=Anonymous]Again what if we had kids would he be expected to go to these family dinners and not bring me? Therefore expecting me to tend to the guys by myself almost every Friday while my husband gets to sit back and enjoy wine and dinner with his family of origin? How is that fair to me? I dunno I just feel like the minute his mother told him not to bring me he should have stood up for me and said mom I'm sorry I can't exclude my wife shr is my main family and therefore can't be left out of a family dinner. I love you and want to spend time with you but not at the exclusion of my wife just about every Friday. [/quote] Perhaps if you had kids, your value to the family would increase. Time will tell.[/quote] So what you're saying is even though we are MARRIED and im a member of the family I have to accept that my husband is going to family dinners every other Friday that never include me as his wife I just have to accept this and not say a word to my husband? But if once I have children I may be invitdd because me popping out babies deems me good enough to be a member of the family. So all I'm good for in the eyes of my husband's family is being a baby making machine? So my value as a wife is if I pop out kids. What freaking year are we in 1950? I'm going to assume your post was sarcastic or you are a troll because no one in their right mind can possibly think this way You don't agree that a husband's main family once married is his wife? You really think parents/siblings are still his main family and not his wife? That he should prioritize them over his wife? I didn't realize he made vows with his parents and siblings or that he was sharing his life and house with them or having children with them? My bad. [/quote] None said that you should not be the priority and you are 13 days out of 14... I think it’s totally fair that one day every two weeks his mom and siblings are his priority... there is something really wrong with you if you cannot understand this[/quote] They can be a priority without excluding me. In my circle/area spouses are always included in family dinners. You truly don't see any issue with MIL saying don't bring your wife? Or my husband just being like ok mommy and not saying I'm not going to exclude my wife. [/quote]
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