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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm of course not saying that it is easy or that it doesn't entail sacrifices, but I think many people on this board are making it sound harder/more impossible than it is.  That people would immediately tell OP (or others in her shoes) to quit is disconcerting because with that mindset women will never be able to achieve an equal place in the office.

I have two kids 7 and 4.  The younger is in daycare; the older does aftercare at school.  DH, who has a FT but fairly flexible job, does almost all drop offs/pickups.  He does most of the cooking and stuff around the house, although we have someone clean once a week and we have come to accept that the house will be a little messy.  He can almost always cover the (thankfully relatively rare) times the kids are sick or have some other scheduling issue that is out of the ordinary.  But, I am usually able to block off important things like school plays and I've almost never missed something like that.

I make it home for dinner, or at least bedtime, more nights than not.  On the days that I stay late, I usually stay very late.  That makes it easier to get home other nights.  I'll also obviously log on some times from home after the kids go to sleep. I also don't have to travel much, which helps a lot, but I also know not all practice areas have that benefit.  I'm generally able to keep my weekends free and devote it almost exclusively to family activities.

It isn't easy, but it also isn't impossible or a bad life.  I enjoy my work.  I enjoy the benefits my work provides.  I don't know that I will do it forever, but doing it as long as I have has given us tremendous financial freedom going forward and it also has opened up plenty of other doors once I decide it is time do something else.

It isn't for everyone, but I wouldn't just assume that kids has to mean the end of a Biglaw career.

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This plus 100.  Biglaw mom of two kids, oldest 10, DH also working somewhat demanding hours:

If I could provide a few thoughts:

- OP, I tell every single new mom in Biglaw: give it time. Don't make rash decision about your career in the first year.  As each year goes by, I am amazed at what more I can do.  You learn and adapt and get better at it.  It doesn't happen right away, but I promise you, if you stick at it, you can do so much more than you can begin to imagine right now.

- There is lots of good advice on here.  I think the key points are: 1) you need to find some help system that works for you.  What that will be depends on your family and the particular moment.  It evolves.  Right now, my family relies on daycare for youngest, au pair, helpful grandparents around, cleaning ladies and landscapers.  2) you have to give up some things in your life but then make sure to carve out time for other things you need.  I've largely given up on my social life but make sure to exercise and leave my weekends almost 100% open for family time.  I also work from home 2 days per week but when I am busy I will work late and bank up a cushion of hours so I can be present other times with my kids.  For example, some Friday nights I work super late so I can have a free weekend.  3) you have to be super disciplined about your time.  For example, I rarely go to social lunches anymore.

- As much BigLaw bashing on here, there are lots of great things about the job.  OP you may find that you agree--or not--but please give it time.  You need time to figure out if you can master this.

Good luck.
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