Reply to Trying to handle baby + big law and failing miserably. Talk me down.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm of course not saying that it is easy or that it doesn't entail sacrifices, but I think many people on this board are making it sound harder/more impossible than it is.  That people would immediately tell OP (or others in her shoes) to quit is disconcerting because with that mindset women will never be able to achieve an equal place in the office.

I have two kids 7 and 4.  The younger is in daycare; the older does aftercare at school.  DH, who has a FT but fairly flexible job, does almost all drop offs/pickups.  He does most of the cooking and stuff around the house, although we have someone clean once a week and we have come to accept that the house will be a little messy.  He can almost always cover the (thankfully relatively rare) times the kids are sick or have some other scheduling issue that is out of the ordinary.  But, I am usually able to block off important things like school plays and I've almost never missed something like that.

I make it home for dinner, or at least bedtime, more nights than not.  On the days that I stay late, I usually stay very late.  That makes it easier to get home other nights.  I'll also obviously log on some times from home after the kids go to sleep. I also don't have to travel much, which helps a lot, but I also know not all practice areas have that benefit.  I'm generally able to keep my weekends free and devote it almost exclusively to family activities.

It isn't easy, but it also isn't impossible or a bad life.  I enjoy my work.  I enjoy the benefits my work provides.  I don't know that I will do it forever, but doing it as long as I have has given us tremendous financial freedom going forward and it also has opened up plenty of other doors once I decide it is time do something else.

It isn't for everyone, but I wouldn't just assume that kids has to mean the end of a Biglaw career.

[/quote]

Just want to echo that I’ve had almost the same experience.  I am a regulatory lawyer so that generally makes the hours a bit easier, and my husband is the default parent for now (but I’ve also been the default parent when he had a different job and traveled much more) but I think there are ways to figure out how to make it work for you, especially if you don’t think you will stay forever.  Also not everyone’s way of making it work looks the the same, and that’s ok.  OP, cheers to making it work in the short-term, I know you can do it![/quote]

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