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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
So why exactly is OP upset? Because someone else decided that they wanted to have a kid free wedding but is having a kid free party by having a reception without kids and not just skipping the entire wedding/reception. [/quote]

I understand why OP is upset.  To me, if you're having a child-free wedding and/or a wedding requiring travel, you're also stating that if people can't make it under those circumstances, there will be no hard feelings if people decline the invitation.  OP, however, feels that she can't decline the invitation without there being drama.

Guests who complain about the location or pressure the bride to include kids are out-of-line, but people who create obstacles for you to attend their wedding, such as cost, destination, no kids, or whatever, and then get upset when you decline the invitation are also out-of-line.  OP, would your brother and SIL be upset if you RSVP for yourself, but let them know that your DH needs to stay home to watch the kids?[/quote]

It’s OP’s husband’s sister getting married. And don’t be ridiculous. Really, the hill you’d want your relationship with your sibling or sibling-in-law to die on is that your kids aren’t invited to their wddding. Get.over.yourself.[/quote]

Why is any of it a hill to die on, though?  OP's DH should go, and OP should decide whether she wants to get a sitter for her kids or stay home with them and decline the invitation.  The SIL is being ridiculous if she is throwing a child-free destination wedding, but views it as the death of the relationship with her brother and OP if OP doesn't attend.  SIL and her husband-to-be should absolutely have the wedding that they want, but there should be no hard feelings if OP can't make the logistics work out for her family.  [/quote]

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