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[quote=Anonymous]Seems like you got a LOT of advice that I will try not to repeat. Sorry if this is rambling...

I was generally your daughter growing up. I was very wrapped up in my imaginative world and was pretty immature compared to the other girls (and not bc I was young for my grade, born in May which put me in the middle back then). I just could not handle group dynamics, I always ended up  left out. I'm sure you have gotten lots of advice, but she really just needs to find a best friend. I agree with the advice to cull from your neighborhood. My  best friend in middle school lived down the street and went to a charter school (I was in public) and was my secret barbie/american girl/pretend play friend. It was totally uncool to still play with barbies so we had a pact to play together and keep it a secret from others.  It didn't help my loneliness at school, but it did help my overall happiness. We moved, but after that I was able to pair up with another girl and I was one of those girl pairs you see. I'm sure my mom was baffled I didn't have other friends  usually, but it worked for me. We did join activities, but always together.

I was diagnosed ADD in adulthood, and it makes a lot of sense now. I was not hyperactive, but inattentive type, common in girls and gets missed. If she's super bright like I was, and it sounds like she has a high iq, she's probably pretty good at hiding these traits or having them not affect her schoolwork (which is the only time that schools or doctors will bring it up). ADD/ADHD kids are usually a few years more immature than their peers. I had a huge emotional growth spurt at age 18, it was almost like I was in a fog before, that's what it felt like. Just something to look at - there are things you can take naturally that can help with that, if so.

You might see if there is a younger child (one or two grades younger, not so much younger that it will be weird) who she connects with in the neighborhood. If they  get along, let her hang out at your house a lot (her mom will love the break haha). Most girls are much more forgiving of social awkwardness in younger or older children than their age peers.

I have two girls (age 8 and 11) and they are leaps and bounds cooler than I ever was, its been weird raising them. My 11 year old was born a Queen Bee, she is not a mean girl but she just has this presence about her, this boundless confidence, kids have always flocked to her. Not saying that to brag, but just to state that I don't think that's something you can learn, its somewhere in the mysteries of the universe and how the laws of attraction in friendship work...

My 8 year  old isn't like that, in fact had she been an only child I think she might have caught some of my awkward haha, but she has grown up around queen bee big sister and a pretty intense tribe of older girls. Even all of the kids in our neighborhood are older daughter's age and my 11 year old has done a fabulous job including her sister, she's a 3rd grader with lots of 5th grade friends, which has made her pretty savvy socially.

In my mom observations, the kids that aren't necessarily quirky nerds but who can't seem to make friends, tend to be the girls who are bossy, loud, and don't give personal space. [/quote]

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