Reply to Just don't really care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]An Open marriage is not cheating, it is a lifestyle choice just like celibacy is a lifestyle choice for the spouse who declared the marriage Sexless.[/quote]
You can keep telling it to yourself to no end, but it is cheating. If it helps you cheat with a clear conscience then go ahead, but you will be the only one thinking it, your spouse didn't agree. Why is so important to you to not get divorce if you need to find an AP and be open about it? I am actually curious. I said many times in my marriage: if you don't like it then go file. I wasn't taken on this offer, but was presented with an AP. Ex saw AP as a solution and he was not happy about the divorce I filed for (as in his mind he solved the problem). I understand people having secret affairs, but I don't understand the out in the open "I am meeting my needs" ones. [/quote]

IOW, you were using sex as a weapon/ bargaining tool in your marriage.  You have no one to blame but yourself and should not receive sympathy.[/quote]
Huh? Sympathy? For what? I don't need any sympathy, nothing bad happened. I wasn't using sex as a "weapon", that's just funny. What was my goal? Libido wasn't the reason for the lack of sex, it was ex's attitude about it. Some people can do "I do it for you, you do it for me" routine, I can't. [b]I suggested "wham-bam-thank you, ma'am" approach (both get the quick release and done), before i started to avoid it.[/b] It wasn't accepted. That is what reminded me of OP's "I wanted to stop it was so bad".[/quote]

So you didn’t really give XDH (who most likely loves you to the moon and back) the opportunity to take advantage of this “offer” since you quickly lost interest in your own idea? Got it. How many divorces is this for you now?[/quote]
Au contraire. He didn't like the offer and started to complain non-stop. One divorce is enough, not making mismatched sex mistake again.[/quote]

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