Reply to Does having kids really suck as bad as people say?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to have really great women friends but I feel like this has been a casualty of having children.

"Mom friends" are often weirdly competitive about their kids or oddly defensive and/or aggressive about their child-rearing choices.  My kids have some issues as well so I ended up feeling excluded and judged a lot.  We didn't get invited to things.

Furthermore, people who my husband and I loved as young marrieds turned out to have such different parenting philosophies that it destroyed our relationships (i.e.  "It's good for kids to experiment with drugs -- in high school.  Better that they experiment now with sex under our roof", etc. Stuff that made us uncomfortable and worried for our kids.)

And then there's the finances.  Having kids is really expensive and we didn't have much left over for socializing with other couples, etc.

Parenting turned out to be surprisingly lonely for us and not at all the way it's depicted on TV, etc.  Now that I'm facing an empty nest I'm wondering what I'm going to do since parenting appears to have cost me most of my friendships.[/quote]

I have 3 under 7 right now--in the thick of it--and I'm feeling the pain of lost friendships. After my family, my marriage, and the tiny time I have for myself, I have nothing for other people. BUT I feel lonely too. It's like this in terms of time, energy, AND yes our budget. Again, after spending on the kids, saving for the future, date nights & babysitting, it's so hard to spend to go out with friends. Lots of solutions here I know, but I tell you I'd really just like some alone time with my spouse.

Overall I just find that ok drowning. And when I get to 'relax on the shore' for a little while, it's so infrequent, unexpected, and relieving, I can't think about other people. Wish I could! Wish the non-drowning times were more predictable and frequent. But they're not. [/quote]

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