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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's a question: after you start to do this, do you ever feel like you are roommates who share space and occasionally have sex? When do you connect?[/quote]

I've been thinking about this and I don't know that it would work for me. I need to feel like my spouse is 100% in this with me. I need him to feel like he cares about what I care about - or at least make a show of interest and involvement. So I do tell him if he's been rude to me or hurt my feelings or if I need him to make a change. It's interesting to me to hear that other women don't do that. I just assumed everyone had these kinds conversations with their spouses.[/quote]

Why do you assume that this approach includes letting DH be rude to you?  It just means that you don't live and die by his actions.  If my DH has been unkind, I let him know.  But I don't expect him to hang on my every word, validate every feeling, make me feel totally connected and loved at all times.  He doesn't have to care about the things I care about and vice versa.  That sounds like being co-dependent to me.

It's not about emotional disconnection.  It's about not expecting the other person to fill you up.  It's about taking a step back and not reacting to everything all the time.  [/quote]

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