Reply to My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later. "

+1 million.

Here's the deal. Every one of my friends who was enthused about their diverse school when their kids were in K were reconsidering their decision to stay by third grade, when the lack of academic intensity becomes apparent.  And all but one have pulled their kids from their original schools to put them into higher performing schools.[/quote]

OP here.

A lot of my friends moved to the suburbs when they had kids. I don't want to do that, because I like where I live. I kind of resent your blanket "here's the deal" as though your experience is inevitable. It's not. I'm not putting my fingers in my ears ignoring the potential issues, but I personally am not going to take evasive action before the issues even arise. If the school stops meeting DD's academic needs, we can move somewhere that does. If middle school remains a huge clusterfuck in 3/4 years, we can move somewhere that is not. If she starts getting picked on for being white, my first choice would be to deal with that bullying like any other bullying and not assume that every kid she interacts with is going to be a racist bully.[/quote]

You are being very selfish OP. sorry, I know it sounds harsh, but you are giving your child a crappy education because you dont feel like moving. 99% SES  ??!!??!!!!!!!!! [/quote]

OP here. I'm not interested in arguing with you about this anymore, but I did want to address a couple things.

1) where a family lives is a huge decision that factors in a lot of variables. It's not as simple as "I don't feel like moving," as I discussed earlier. There are three people in this family, each of whom have needs. You seem to think that I picked where to live based on some hipster dream of brunch, which could not be further from the truth. We live in an apartment that meets DH's and my criteria, is walking distance from a school DD can attend, and close enough to DH's and my jobs that we can get to and from work in <half an hour. Maybe that isn't important to you. Maybe your family sacrifices everything to send your kids to a highly rated school. That's fine. I'm not the one criticizing your choices and calling you a crappy selfish parent.

2) "99% SES" is a nonsense statement. 100% of everyone has some SES. I assume you meant 99% FARMs, which isn't a hell of a lot better. I do not believe in reducing children to their parents' SES - high or low - and I don't think it speaks well of you that you are comfortable doing so. As I mentioned last week, a dozen pages ago, the true FARM number is more like 70% - in DC, community eligibility schools consider the overall demographics of the area and if the number and families eligible for SNAP is over a certain level, the school is designated community eligibility, everyone gets free lunch, and the school is listed as 99% FARM. Our actual rate is somewhere between 60% and 70%. [/quote]

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