Reply to My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, I'm the poster who posted the rather detailed numbered questions about how frankly you talk about race with your kid. Thanks for your answers.

I don't claim to be any expert in how to deal with this. But the book Nuture Shock really changed my thinking and now I discuss race extremely explicitly with my very young kids. I don't wait for them to ask questions or bring things up. I bring up issues myself, just like I do for sex education or discussion of death or discussion of any touchy subject that we adults have a tendency to avoid. I find books to read that open up discussions, etc. Sometimes the discussions are excruciating but I persevere.

Anyway, I think it's probably pretty obvious to your kid that she or he is "the only white kid." The fact that she or he hasn't ever brought it up may indeed mean that it's not a "thing." Or, it could mean that your kid has picked up that race is such a sensitive "thing" that it cannot be openly discussed. It's something to think about.

Anyway, I'm glad you guys have found a school that works for you and, given my commitment to open discussion, I understand why you started this thread. I can see why some people would find it uncomfortable at times but I still think it's worthwhile. I went to a school that was almost entirely white and my kids are going to have a very different experience, which I think is a great thing. But even in "diverse" schools, kids tend to self-segregate. I think it takes constant work and discussion to fight against very powerful unspoken currents in society that can drag us all down. 
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