Reply to This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your dh have a disorder like adhd or dyslexia?[/quote]

I don't know.  That is a good question.  Anything is possible I suppose.  B/c, honestly, when things like this happen to us in our lives, and they do seem to happen with more regularity than I would have thought possible,  I am often left wondering, "HOW could this HAPPEN?"  I just don't get it.

And as I said, he is competent at work, so???  (?)  I just don't know. . . [/quote]

OP's exhaustion sounds so familiar to me.  When you live with someone like this it's a constant parade of lost items, forgotten tasks and messes to untangle.  [b]It's easy to say, let him figure it out, but I often got pulled into these situations in some way either by my DH or by people who were dealing with him and turned to me or in order to protect my kids (whom DH frequently lost). [/b] The other option - just doing it myself is also not feasible.  I cannot manage it all and him too.

It turns out that DH has bipolar depression.  These clusterF$&#^ situations were often a product of mania, which also explained the irritability when he was confronted with having to untangle his messes.

He seemed functional and held down a job for a long time because his mania was also productive in some ways.  But now, 15 years later, he is about to be let go from his 3rd job.[/quote]

I have a husband with ADHD.  It is NOT impossible to let him deal with his own stuff. I handle the kid stuff, but the rest of the crap is his.  No clothes for work because you forgot to pick up your drycleaning? Not my problem.  Forgot to pay your car registration? Not my problem.  Made a mess of a cookie fundraiser? Not my problem.

Walk away from his messes. If other people involve you, tell them they have to talk to him because it is his deal, not yours.  Refuse to be his mother. [/quote]

I'm 12:42 and absolutely agree.  I think OP was just venting about the frustration that comes when you do think "hey, they can handle this easy task.  its just girl scout cookies.  who could mess that up?"  We are then reminded why we don't had anything over that matters.  In this case, this problem extends past OP's DH because it goes to teaching her DD about responsibility and accountability.  I'm sure OP will find a way to handle the situation, but I can see why she is frustrated.  [/quote]

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