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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a feminist, but my DH is head of the household.  What it means is this: sometimes you just can not come to an agreement.  Some times both of you feel the other is wrong.   When we get to that point, we go with his decision because he is the head.

Every family must have a way to cope when this happens.  If this has never happened to you, consider yourself very lucky.  It happens to most couples at least at 1 point in their marriage.

In some families, even families with very feminine Stay at home women, the woman really is the head and her decision carries.  In my family, it is DH.[/quote]

Why can't you sometimes go with your decision even if your DH disagrees with it?  I'm asking out of real curiosity.

I personally would feel resentful if my DH always got the final say when we couldn't come to an agreement.  Instead sometimes I give in to him even if I disagree and sometimes he gives in to me even if he disagrees.  It feels like a real partnership, as messy as that can be. [/quote]'

What if it is something where you both feel very strongly?  For example, what if you had a great job offer in another city while your DH had a great job here?  In the end, one of you must sacrifice for the other.

I think I sacrifice because, frankly, I am stronger than my DH and I know somehow I will make it work, even if I don't like it.[/quote]

Conceding makes you the "strong" one? Huh? You and I do not agree on the definition of strength. You're just giving in to keep household peace.[/quote]

Relationships are not a contest or a battle. that is where you and I differ.[/quote]

Of course it isn't for you. You've already lost.  How would you feel about this "head of household" garbage if your daring husband came home one day and told you he was leaving you for another woman?[/quote]

Id feel the same way you would. Odd question. I don't see your point.[/quote]

You don't think it leaves you at more of a disadvantage if your head of the household ups and leaves, than if you're used to being an equal participant in your own life decisions?[/quote]

What kind of decisions do you think I can't make on my own? I hate to break your fantasy of how oppressed my life is and how brainwashed and victimized I am by the evil white man, but I hold a director position at my company, and make plenty of decisions managing a P&L, I think I'd be just fine. I've been doing this marriage thing with him for 25years.  So, once again, odd question. I'd feel the same way anyone would feel if their spouse left them for another person. And JUST LIKE anyone else, I'm pick myself up and move on with my life.

You can be a professionally successful woman and still respect your husband as the head of the household. This doesn't mean I don't know how to run a balance sheet, move around money in a 401k, pay a mortgage,  or negotiate the purchase of investment property.[/quote]

I don't see how you can have self confidence and be professionally successful, yet defer to your husband as the head of the household.  What about his male genitalia makes him the one who gets to prevail in the event of a decision deadlock? Use your analytical skills and explain it in a rational way, please.[/quote]

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