Reply to Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1970 New England baby here, raised by parents who came of age in the very early 1960s, before the women's movement took hold.  When I was growing up, moms had careers, but most of them took time off to raise kids or launched a professional career once the kids got a bit older.  Moms were always the default parents, doing all the household shopping, cooking, driving, homework help, etc.  Dads made the money and sometimes did yard work.

I get that I need to be able to support myself in the manner I want to live, and I did for many years.  However, I have never managed to shake off the traditional values and expectations that I picked up from the examples I grew up with.  I currently work part time and earn a low six-figure salary, but there is no doubt that I compromised my long-term earning potential by taking low-stress, low-profile work.

Did I screen for earning potential during my dating years?  Yes, but mostly subconsciously.  Professional success and earning power typically flow from the smart alpha male type I was drawn to when looking for a life partner.  I would honestly have a hard time if DH didn't earn at least as much as I earned when I was full time, and enough to enable me to work part time while my kids are young.

On the other hand, in my younger years, I dated a couple of creative/adventurous/sensitive types.  I sometimes wish DH had more appetite for the kind of aimless togetherness I enjoyed with those guys, but he is much too achievement-oriented for that.  So every choice does come with a price.  
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Yeah. One of my good girlfriends is in a similar situation. She specifically screened for the professionally driven, goal oriented, money making alpha type because she is only attracted to men who are "providers". He is very busy and very successful and is always traveling and  their relationship is long distance most of the time. He hardly makes time for date nights or is very good at talking about feelings. Sometimes I wonder how she puts up with it and I am reminded of the fact that at the end of the day, he is a powerful guy who makes a lot of money, so in her mind, the minor sacrifices of companionship and romance are worth his drive and ambition. [/quote]

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