Reply to Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP who married AA man who is my best friend, who i love with all my heart and who I am not going to apologize for.  I totally hear everything AA moms are saying, and if i werent in an interracial family, I'd probably be sympathetic with your point of view.  However, when it's YOUR family, your relationship, your husband it stops being a conversation about race, rather it feels like a personal attack on the makeup of your family.  And BTW, My family talks about EVERYTHING, including our prejudices and the role we play in racism in this country.  So stop saying that they dont accept my husband, who you dont know, or that im naive to this.  I agree that a lot of people do have prejudices that would surface if their son or daughter dated outside of their race, (as evidenced by this thread) but many dont, or do and work through it-we're all capable of evolving and becoming more self-aware.  Also, my husband never dated exclusively white women, I think that's just narrow-minded.  And I have biracial children now, so I'm sensitive to the issues they may face as people of color in this world.  And I didn't marry or procreate out of guilt.  I have plenty of bias and things to feel guilty about, but that's not one of them.  And to those who don't want their sons or daughters dating outside of their own race, for reasons beyond preserving religion or culture, I feel sorry for you because you are creating barriers and limits when you should be promoting growth and openness for your children.  I'm kind of sorry I got sucked into this conversation, because it's so complicated and hard to delve into on an anonymous thread like this.  All I reallt wanted was information on potty-training.  But here I am, frustrated and no closer to getting my baby on the pot.[/quote]

You don't need to apologize for marrying a black man. But understand, they we also don't owe you an explanation about what we'd want for our own sons. You say you respect those who want to preserve their religion and their culture...well, that has a lot to do with why I want my son to marry a black woman.

I don't think a white mother is properly equipped with the tools to raise children of color in America, but that's not my problem to tackle and hopefully your husband will do his job in making sure they understand the complexities of growing up biracial in America (not this colorblind crap). While you may be sensitive to the issues that black people face, you are not black, so you can never truly understand it. And that's okay, but to be outraged for the very thing you don't understand...well, that's just screwy.

Again, I find it interesting that the main offense taken on this thread is when black people "reject" whites. Instant outrage and "how dare you's". [/quote]

Is she not equipped to raise biracial children just like our president's mother was not equipped?  Because I think our president's mother did a pretty good job, no?

And, by the way, should Obama's mother have been "disappointed" when her son married a black woman?  Should she have felt "rejected" and should she have secretly wished that Barack had learned to appreciate everything that is beautiful about white women?

Having read this entire thread, three things seem to explain this viewpoint that AA mothers have expressed about their sons in particular: (1) if a black son marries a white woman his mother feels "rejected" because he's choosing someone who -- from a physical perspective -- looks different than his mother (of course, the white woman may be sweet, strong, independent, etc. like his mother, but that doesn't seem important to the AA mothers posting on this thread); (2) black women don't like white women "taking the good black guys" because there are too few of them; and (3) AA mothers are racist.[/quote]

I wonder why white people always throw the Obama argument into the equation. But to answer your question, no, I don't think Obama grandparents were properly equipped. Which is probably why once he became an adult he immersed himself in black culture (to learn more about his roots). This usually happens with biracial children; when they don't learn much about their race as a child, they sometimes go all "Angela Davis" to get in touch with their black side. Of all the militant blacks I've met, many of them are biracial people. It's like they feel like they having something to prove.

Points 1 & 2 are correct. Your third one is just you feeling bitter because you don't like the truth. [/quote]

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