Reply to Is it normal for sibling not to tell you they are having a baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Come on, people. Anyone who says they would have responded gracefully to a sibling announcing their child’s birth with no prior notice, on a group text to boot, is just trying to needle the OP. Of course both the timing and method are unusual ways to have announced news of this magnitude to one’s sibling.

That said, OP, this is now your new niece or nephew. Be glad for the family, properly fawn over the new little one, and once the dust settles I’d have a one to one chat with my sibling explaining that you were hurt to have learned of the news this way, I’d emphasize their importance to me, and then I’d move on. [/quote]

Of course it's possible to respond gracefully to the initial announcement. Afterward, how you respond to the prior notice issue depends on the circumstances, which of course will take time to unpack. Just because you cannot fathom a graceful response in this situation does not mean everyone else is bound to your mindset.[/quote]

Sure it's possible but we are all human and make imperfect decisions.  If this situation were flipped around and it was the sibling posting about how their (non-estranged) family was confused about not finding out about their baby's birth until the birth, there would no doubt be a lot of criticism and questions for them as well.

It also depends on the relationship because my family's group chat tends to have a lot of GIFs and snarks, so if a sibling randomly posted baby photos without warning that they were pregnant or trying to adopt I would quite likely misconstrue as well.[/quote]

I think the disagreement is what happens after the initial surprise and confusion is cleared up. Yes it's possible to respond with graceful 'congratulations' and then over time unpacking the reasons for the pregnancy not being announced.  This is most certainly an option and it's the option I would choose. [/quote]

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